And No One Got Hurt

I used up the rest of the soft claws nail caps today and no one got hurt. I managed to get 3 on Via's back paw (she was missing two) to keep her from scratching at the bites that the little bastard rains down on her. I also managed to get 6 on Stormy, which is quite remarkable. They were so good I treated them to some new kitty treats. Hopefully now Via can begin to heal again.

Stormy is quite the hunter...too bad the birds he hunts are on the other side of the glass, lol. He is constantly at the window watching the birds at the feeders and the squirrel at the bag of birdseed on the step. The squirrel has left quite a mess on top of a box where he apparently sits and snacks, as it is all worn down. As long as they don't start trying to get into the house. I've only seen one squirrel though, so that's good.

PMS Reigns!

got this via email from a good friend of mine and feel exactly the same way...

Dear Kotex,

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my maxi-pad had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

- Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.

- Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.

- Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.

- Try Kotex blah blah blah other products

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. See what happens and report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol.

Printing out shit advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand. Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the shit in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer. There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. So take your tips for living and shove them right up your ass.

Ovarily Yours,

Miss PMS

Cozy New Beds

Whilst sifting through some fabric for my sister I came across some sheepskin (fake) so thought I would whip up a couple of kitty beds so I can get them out of my knitting baskets. They did up in no time and they seem to just love them, don't they?

Men Are Happier People

or at least they should be...got this from a friend earlier this week:

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

The Colorful Five Percent

I was out for lunch with a couple of gals from work and one is in her last weeks of pregnancy, and of course, we were swapping stories, and the other non-pregnant gal said "all I remember about morning sickness was that when I was living in India in a rowboat on the Ganges River, I was sick from the motion and the pregnancy". She was also craving a turkey sandwich in a part of India where they are strict vegetarians...the restaurants are staffed by people who are strict vegetarians, and no meat has ever entered the restaurant or touched any of the dishes in the restaurant. This same gal gave birth at home both times. And there's my supervisor who was a midwife in Africa for a couple of years before giving birth at home both times as well, once with only her husband there and the second time with another friend there.

And that's just a couple of the cool people I've met since I arrived in the Yukon. Then there is what is known as "The colorful five percent"...those interesting characters of which there are sure to be a few out and about during next week's Sourdough Rendezvous Festival here. I can't wait to see Sourdough Sams at the local bars...

Then I got an email from a friend who is travelling through Africa as I write this, and has been for the past several weeks. I post her emails on another blog I keep for her (she's less tech savvy and we consider ourselves lucky she can get an email out to us all) called The Many Travels of Mrs Pickles.

Now they all have me thinking about my next trip. If things go well, I hope to take another short trip abroad in 2007 sometime. I have a couple of destinations in mind...overland through Russia or putt around Eastern Europe, or hump through the jungles inThailand...I'm torn.

Balance Is Restored

So I bought the Live 8 Concert DVD collection the other day and tonight I sat down and rocked on through The Who and Pink Floyd...who could ask for more? Pink Floyd had not played as 4 in 20 years and they sounded the same as they did 20 years ago....close your eyes and fall back into the seventies and eighties. What a royal treat! The fire was roaring, the candles were lit, and Pink Floyd was together again, even if for just one night. Pigs Flew!

Comfort Movies

Do you have a movie that you like to watch when nothing else seems right, or you just want to curl up on the sofa with a good movie you don't have to pay close attention to because you know ever scene and word. For me, it's Lonesome Dove, all 4 parts. When I hear the opening music, I just feel warm all over. The characters in the movie are comforting, and so interesting. Augustus Macrae is my favorite, played by Robert Duvall. The entire cast is great, each one well picked, and I couldn't imagine anyone else in their place.

I think I have watched the entire series no less than 40 times, I'm sure. It came out in the late eighties as a mini-series on television and I had taped it off from there. I later bought it on VHS and wouldn't part with it for anything (except maybe the DVD collection, heh heh).

What's your comfort movie?

Oh Dear, I am hooked on a new show...

and its only the first night I've seen it. If you haven't already and you enjoy the Trailer Park Boys...this is not it, but similar humour. My Name is Earl. Starring Jason Lee from Almost Famous, Ethan Suplee from Cold Mountain and Adam Goldberg from Saving Private Ryan and a whole bunch of other spectacular stuff...he was hilarious on Friends as the freaked out roommate for a while. There is even a character named Randy...

Career Directions

Is there a map for this?

So I rambled earlier about not wanting to be a social worker anymore, which hasn't changed too much. If anything, I am certain about not wanting to work in child protection anymore. At least not here. As for the social work part, there may be a place for me, I just haven't found it yet.

Let me get out my map...

Cat Farts

Is there anything more foul? Possibly dog farts, but those felines are so sneaky, you don't realize what has happened until you are smothering. Thanks a lot Stormy. Pig. Sorry pigs.