Taking The High Road

I think I would seriously pass out trying to drive this road in Bolivia...and I know someone who has actually bicycled this road when they were travelling in Bolivia for 6 months...yikes!

East Coast Yoga

This is the difference between East Indian Yoga and East Coast Yoga...
The guy still sitting at the table closely resembles my ex-husband. I swear I even have a photo of him in that very position...

Shitrats Raise The Roof

Yes, those damn cats were at it again last night...I've had three sleepless nights this weekend and they are responsible for some of that. Root, root, root, rustle, rustle, rustle...they jump up and down off the bed, run up and down the stairs, push their food bowls across the floor, and generally just thump and bang their way through the night. I did put my ear plugs in a one point, but for some reason I took them out in my sleep and put them back...only to be woken by them yet again. It is mostly McGee, as Via spends most of the night curled up in my arms *huge sookie baby* and Stormy is often at the end of my bed, but if McGee gets going, he joins in.

Whatever the case, I think I shall be medicating and plugging tonight, as I am now short on sleep...sigh...damn shitrats...I love 'em.

The Stuttering Kitty

sent to me this morning by my mother...

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary", said the teacher.

"It sure was",said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say "Fuck off," the rottweiler ate him!"

Aging. Let it be...

I think I got my first grey hair when I was in my mid twenties. I know my daughter was about 5 or 6 because I was in Halifax with my sister, and found it one day when we were driving through the city. I think I screamed. But then I didn't panic because for many years I had just one or two at a time...and I plucked them out. Now in the past year I have begun to resemble a skunk with my white patch down my part...sheesh...and those damn hairs are like wire...

So as many of my friends know, I have dyed my hair for years, in a variety of colors - purple, pink, blue, red, brown, streaked, black, whatever...so I have been able to basically ignore the gray hairs for a while as well...and now I have been allowing my hair to grow and have not colored it since I moved here. Hmmm...so the gray has taken advantage of that...

I did buy a box of hair dye, just simple brown, much like my natural haircolor. That was about 2 months or more ago. Why do I hesitate? Some say their grey hairs are hard earned...other's say they are a sign of high stress in your life...sometimes I think you are just going to go grey, whatever. In any event, I am still trying to decide if I am going to use that hair dye or let things be as they may...or in the words of Paul McCartney "Let it be"...

The Bear Scare Howl

So I pulled into my driveway tonight and noticed A. cleaning out her car (what a pack rat) so parked the car with a short gravel skid, just to get attention. She didn't budge, so I figured she had her music on. She also didn't see me because her head was down behind the front seat, vacuuming. I couldn't pass up that opportunity.

I crept up behind her and thumped my arm on her back with a low growl...

She let out the Bear Scare Howl.....leapt upright with her head still in her car, smucking it off the roof inside and screamed, stumbled, and screamed again.....

And I laughed my ass off...one of those howling laughs...you know the sort, the kind you've been aching for since the last time something really funny happened. And I needed it more today than ever. Monday really is over.

Another Monday Nearly Crushed

Boomtown Rats weren't the only ones who didn't like Mondays...I am a member of that club. For whatever reason, it makes me feel like I am 3 hours premenstrual...which means my hormones are all over the place. And I feel like a raving lunatic sometimes...but aren't women allotted that occasional lapse in sanity, after having to go through that joyful adventure once a month...not to mention the whole childbirth ordeal. ugh.

And speaking of children...spending the day in a car with two of these sneezing darlings (belonging to my friend R.) has somehow provided me with a lovely case of the common cold. Ahhhhchoooo...

They are also days for small annoyances...like the dumb fuck in a truck ahead of me this morning insisted on driving 60kms in the 90km Alaska Highway. I only have enough time to get through the drivethru at Tim Horton's before getting to work before getting to work. This morning I was nearly late for work, and I didn't even go to Timmy's.

Then there was the always nerve wracking job interview. Pure punishment. I can never come across how I want by a phone interview...I need non-verbal cues! I think I did okay in the written part, even if it was so much like writing a university exam...I already graduated and have my degrees, so I don't understand why I have to prove that again. The interview questions were fair enough, but I think I bumbled through a couple of them. It was hard to concentrate after the hormonal episode earlier today, and the pressure of GETTING A JOB rattled me a little.

Sigh...and life goes on. One of my favorite episodes of Friends is on tonight - where Adam Goldberg is guest starring as Chandler's crazy roommate. So today doesn't totally suck...

Rolling Stone Magazine SUCKS ASS

I have heard mention of Rolling Stone Magazine for years, and had never really read an issue, but when a fresh faced student showed up at my door looking to sell me a magazine subscription, I chose Rolling Stone amongst the other crap. I wish now that I had chosen something like National Geographic instead of the drivel I receive in my mailbox once a month...

I have never seen such a compilation of garbage discussing the war efforts by the US. I thought Rolling Stone was about music? WTF??? So I managed at first to skip over about a third of the magazine because the writers drivelled on about the wars the US are involved in. I hear enough on television to make me sick, I don't need it in my recreational magazines.

The topper though was in this month's issue. I turned the page to this heading for an ad "Did you know that over 300,000 baby seals were killed in Canada this year for their fur?" and it was sponsored by The Humane Soceity of The United States. What a load of utter bullshit. I am so fuckiing sick and tired of this anti-Canadian sentiment out there, particularly when they are so damned misinformed and clearly STUPID. The photograph in the ad depicts sealers clubbing seals...ADULT SEALS. And how can I tell? Because the baby seals they refer to are WHITE and the ones in the photo are clearly NOT WHITE. As well, whitecoat seals have been outlawed to kill for nearly 20 years. Considering that the 2006 Quota for sealers was 325,000 and that all reports state that the seals hunted in Canada has been found to be 98% humane AND legal kills...where in the hell do they get their information from?

The ad also called for a complete boycott of Canadian seafood. What in the hell is the sense in that? How is boycotting the lobster, codfish and crab caught by non-sealers going to help anything? Complete idiocy, I say. Also, what they seem to not understand is that Canadian Sealers harvest seals for ALL of their body parts, not just the fur...including seal penises that are sold to an Asian market as an aphrodesiac...and what these so-called do-gooders seem to forget is all the AMERICAN hunters that flock to Canada to bag a big game animal, simply for the trophy head, leaving the rest of the animal to rot in the woods. Now THAT is irresponsible.

I never got the argument about inhumane killing either. I don't buy how these so-called informed activists can claim that seal hunting is inhumane while they chow down on a beef steak. Visit a meat factory and tell me how what they do to cows is any different? I have ACTUALLY been to one, having worked there for 3 months and had a full tour. The cows are simply knocked out with a steel pin shot at their head, and then rolled down the ramp to be hung by their legs while THEY are skinned. Or on the topic of seafood, let's talk about how that is killed...codfish - often by a jesus big hook in the mouth that rips out their insides, and then they have their head beaten and throat slit to keep them from thrashing once aboard the boat. Or how about shellfish - BOILED ALIVE. Hello? Anyone there? But because someone takes a look at those big seal eyes and thinks they look cute, that they have the right to protest how someone makes a living. Pardon the codfish for not looking cute...

I think I shall go put on my seal pelt mukluks, and tell the Americans who wish to boycott Canadian seafood to fuck - right - off. I am boycotting Rolling Stone Magazine.

And if you are looking for more accurate information regarding the Canadian seal hunt, check out this site.

This Is Just Plain Funny

And makes me a little homesick...check out Youtube...

Where Were You On 9/11

I had to ask it. I usually don't like to hear about it, or talk about it. But it is one of those things, like where were you when Reagan was shot, or when you heard John Lennon died...it's something you remember.

I was at university, during my first class of the BSW program I was beginning, and our professor was from New York City. I had stopped by the lounge just before class as the first plane had flown into the world trade centre. I thought what everyone else did, that it was an accident...then I stopped by the lounge not long after again and saw the second one hit. I don't know what drew me to the lounge, there was always someone in it, typically watching terrible soap operas like Passions, or Seventh Heaven...sheesh...but that day, they had the news on and I was hooked. I could bearly tear myself away from the class, but I did once again to go back to the lounge, and was there when the first and second towers fell, sitting beside our practicum coordinator/professor. Stunned is what we were.

Hard to believe it has been 5 years...

Fun In Yahoo Games

So I was on Yahoo Games today to play a few hands of gin while the laundry was going...I typically play in a social room, hoping to catch some interesting chat, and occasionally I do make an online friend that I play with regularly. Today was not that day. I don't understand why people choose a social room to play in and then won't even respond to a simple hello. Rude, that's what it is. No, I take that back, rude was the next asshole I played with. His opening comment was "Are we having a sober day?"...I knew we were headed downhill from there...

This psychopath/chosen one began telling me that it is important to be sober, which I can understand, no biggie, particularly for recovering alcoholics...I can sympathize...but I was interested in where he was coming from - recovering user or bible thumper or both. So then he tells me that not being sober nearly killed him earlier this year. So I figure, ok, he's been in a car crash, drunk driving likely, because he said no one had ever survived an accident like his before. Wanting to play devil's advocate, as it seemed clear he was out to make a statement about something or fishing for sympathy, not simply chat and play cards, particularly by opening with such a bold statement. So then I asked him whose information that was (that he is the only one to ever survive an accident like that - it just sounded like such an american self-centred thing to say. Maybe he is just grateful to be alive and wants to spread the word...who knows...

then it got fucked up...he said he wasn't basing it on anyone's information...so I prodded again - then how can you make such a blanket statement. So then he says it was meant to happen to him, he is the chosen one...WTF? So I simply said, ok man, you are starting to weird me out and sound like a fanatic. To which he replied "who gives a fuck". Then I knew...TROLL. so I told him to leave my room and he refused, and told me to leave. I wanted to boot him out, but it was a rated game and the program wouldn't let me...dammit...I could have stayed in and really razzed him up, but I spend enough of my time confronting angry people that I just didn't want to get into it with him when he was clearly looking for a fight. So I left...fuck him. Maybe that's his game...get into a game, piss someone off so they leave and forfeit the game...

So I am off to Pogo...they are usually more social there...

Dear Kotex

I've seen this one before, but it made me laugh yet again today, so I thought I would share...

Dear Kotex

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

1. Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
2. Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
3. Drink 6-8 glasses of wa ter a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
4. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead. See what happens and report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I guaran-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. This advice was some brain function of a male....right???

Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activity that interests me is eating...and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a friggin activity?????

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes of survival, many containing alcohol. Printing out shit advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand. Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products.

It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the shit in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer. There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just add a store microphone to the damn package & announce that...helloooo, another female is on her damn period!!!!!So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces that need to be smacked hard, and shove them right up your ass.

Ovarily Yours,

Miss PMS

Labourous Rambling

So how does one celebrate Labour Day, anyhow? By doing as little labour as possible? or by some of the things I have done today...

• singing to the cats (I know where my talents are appreciated)
• dozing on the new sofa with some fav's on the stereo - Allman Brothers, Nazareth, Jethro Tull, ELP, Pink Floyd (of course) and so many more talented musicians
• playing with the felines - it's amazing how much fun a piece of yarn can be. I fail to see it...
• comforting the cowardly cats when the water delivery truck filled the tank
• losing at Gin Rummy online at Yahoo Games
• sewing up an afghan I am making for a little one - wait, that is labour...
• chatted online to some friends

Yup, life is rough here in the Yukon...McGee is clearly enjoying his new quarters...Stormy is snuggled deep on the new sofa, while Via grooms in the faint sunlight...

Crocodile Hunter Dies By Stingray

I wasn't a huge fan of the show, but one of my old roomies, M. from Russia was a huge fan, and thought he was amazing, as did many others. And now he has been killed instantly by the barb of a stingray, right to the heart. Somehow I always thought he would die by croc...but I can imagine he is glad he died by stingray instead...news reports say he died instantly, whereas if a croc got hold of him, it might last a bit.

I have watched the show, "Crocodile Hunter" over the years and once I got past his bawdy Aussie accent, it was entertaining enough. Australia has lost one of its icons, for sure, from a man who definitely lived on the edge.

You Deserve To Be Scammed

After reading this article on CBC news, I have to say, the people that were scammed deserved it. If you are that stupid to fall for such an obvious scam, I'm sorry...you have idiot written all over your face. A convoluted story about someone telling you to add chemicals to some money to make it turn green again...WTF? Stupidity reigns in Mississauga apparently...

Fall Has Fallen

The leaves are changing, there is snow on the mountains. Fall has arrived. And it is only September 1st. Brrrrrrrrrrr....

Long weekend ahead, which is just grand...wishing A. didn't have to work though so we could go somewhere, camping or day trip but it is not to be! We are going on a short road trip though out to Lake Labarge area, and hope to get some photos of the fall colors that the bear berry bushes and fireweed provide in the absence of maple and oak trees.

Other than that, I reckon I shall attempt to complete some household projects this weekend, and with the tv broken, that will be one less distraction.

Now I have to go get ready for work...thankfully today is Friday!