The Scotsman

A man was hiking through the hills in Scotland and stopped for a drink at a mountain stream.An old shepherd, rather tattered and worn shouted to him:

"Dinna take a draught oot o the riffle laddie, 'tis poorly wi' the dregs o ma cattle"(Translates to: don't drink the water sir, it's full of cow shit)

The hiker said, "I say old man, I'll have you know I'm an English gentleman. Please address me in the proper English language, you heathen."

The shepherd replied, "I said ....use both hands.You will be able to get more in your mouth."

this cracked me up...the British can be so very boorish sometimes...