How Much Is That Kitty In The Window?

CHEAP. For one buck in Monopoly money, he's yours. Sure, he looks cute and all, but at 6am in the morning when he wants to play...nothing is cute. His favorite form of early morning torture (there are several) is to get up on the windowsill and rattle the metal mini-blind...endlessly. I get up, I yell at him, I take him off and tell him a sharp NO! and put him on the floor again. He goes directly BACK to the windowsill. We play this game for a few rounds before I am no longer saying just NO, I am also cursing and swearing and calling him names. Then he decides he is going to bring a toy mouse into my bedroom and chase it around. Fine if he could just play quietly but not Henry. He needs to jam it in behind something so he can scratch and paw at it endlessly until I get up and turn the lights on so I can find the fucking toy and TAKE it from him. So then he goes back to the blinds again. More of that game, and he gets the message about the window. Then he decides to sharpen his claws on my boxspring and mattress. More cursing and swear and I pound on the mattress to distract him. Then it's time to get into the trashbin beside my bed, and he hits the jackpot - there is a plastic crinkly bag in there to rustle. SO I get up once again, take the trash bin and put it on top of the dresser where he can't reach it. Then it's back to the blinds. Sigh. I pull out my MP3 player and give up, listen to music to drown the little fucker out and try to get back to sleep again. He only does these things in my bedroom, early morning and late night.

I may actually pay someone to take him.