Call Centres

Yeah. Necessary EVIL. I hate them. And I hate that 90% of the people working there can't fucking speak English. Had a fun go-round with Bell Expressvu's call centre tonight. Sigh. So I received about a dozen or so automated phone messages telling me to replace my smart card. It's just a card that goes into the receiver, looks like a debit card or a hotel room card key. Trouble was, I didn't get the new smart card until about 5 messages in. So I finally get the damn card and follow the simple instructions to replace it. It went relatively smoothly. I called Bell Expressvu to confirm what I was doing was right, because I didn't want to take the card out (which I had never done in my life) and lose all my programming. They talked me through it, and my programming was up and running again in minutes. Groovy.

Trouble was, I kept getting the fucking phonecalls to replace my smart card AND then messages on my receiver, popping up over any program I was watching, telling me to replace my smart card. WTF? So tonight I decided to call them again, and as them, what the hell, people? Of course I got an immigrant who couldn't speak English. He stumbled through the process, told me that the card I had in there was the old one, and to put the new one in. WHAT? I told him I already did that, and had actually already confirmed with someone that the new one was in there. Apparently it wasn't. The card that came with my receiver when I bought it was the new one. They sent me an old one. Great. Ok, so I went through the process AGAIN. He tells me the card is now activated. A message on the screen says the card is being activated and warns me not to touch anything. Don't worry, I won't! Then call centre idiot tries to hook me up with some new programming, "never before seen in Canada!". Fuck off (I didn't say that out loud). If anything, I want to trim down my programming because I don't get a chance to watch it all. I only upped my package for my housesitter this summer. And now I'm moving again, and am too busy to sit around watching ALL the channels. So please reduce my package, please. Idiot tries to sell me the new and improved package again. Fuck off. I am not interested. So Idiot puts me on hold, allegedly for just a few minutes. 10 minutes later we were disconnected. Idiot. Whatever, I'll change the programming some other day. Now let me get back to Grey's Anatomy.

Um, where did all my channels go? I have just 8 or so channels...instead of about 600...WTF? Sigh...I can't believe I have to call those idiots again. I wait for 2 hours as he said, to let all the programming download...2 hours later, and I still have 8 channels. Ok, I can't believe I'm doing it but I am calling them again. Another fucking person who can't speak English...and hers is even worse than the previous idiot. Better still, she's copping an attitude, and talked over me constantly throughout the call! Anytime I tried started to talk, she talked right over me, and dismissed what I said. I explained to her that I had called twice before, and was told each time the card was activated. I asked her why she kept talking over me and didn't let me speak. She told me she did this because I didn't have anything new to say. Um, WHAT? Listen you snotty bitch, I am a loyal customer and you are insulting me, ignoring me, and being rude to me? (I didn't say that out loud...I am generally not as pissy out loud as I tend to be in my head). She promised that my card had indeed been activated. I asked her if there were any notes saying this had already been done twice before. She said "no". Fuck. Great. I asked her then if she was going to put any notes in, or would I be calling back for a fourth time to do this yet AGAIN. She assured me that she was, and that I could destroy my old card. Yeah, right lady. Like I'm going to trust you any more than I trusted the previous two idiots. Fuck off. I think I'll keep the card and see if you did your job tonight or just dinked me around like the other two assholes.

Sigh...call centres. And don't even get me started on the voice activated menus Bell has...they didn't recognize me saying the word ENGLISH, so put me into a Spanish menu...Jaysus H. Christ. And I can SPEAK English.