Oh Great.

Now I don't want to be a social worker anymore. What does that mean? Thousands down the brain, I mean drain. Talk about a Freudian slip. Perhaps its just a combination of workplace stress, clients who annoy me, and listening to the same old crap everyday just doesn't do it for me anymore. I am questioning why I even got into this field in the first place. I thought about trying another field of social work, but I am feeling like it just isn't me anymore.

So what does THAT mean. It might mean that when my term is up, I'm outta here. But to go where? And do what? I have always been interested in social research, so perhaps going back to university is something I need to look at. I know I can't get into much with all undergrad degrees. I recall when I was in my sociology degree, I really enjoyed the research aspect of it. Or maybe I could master in criminology and get more into the criminal field somewhere.

And of course, as is my usual fare, I'll probably change my mind again tomorrow. So often I hear from others that they could never do my job, its too hard, too stressful, too unpleasant, etc. Now I don't want to.

Maybe I just need a vacation or something. Maybe I need a good shag. All I do know is that I don't like the way things are just now with my job. The money is good of course, but I am just SO sick of it all. Perfect timing, eh. Dragged my ass all the way across the country for what...more money, cozy cabin, and a job I don't want to do anymore. The feeling is not entirely new, though. When I was on the east coast I had been getting tired of the job. I had said in the beginning that I would keep working in social work until I didn't want to get up in the morning to go to work anymore. I had those days last fall, and now here they are again.

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Thoughts for 2006

Got this today from a friend of mine and it gave me a few chuckles so thought I would share...
Top 10 thoughts for 2006

Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. (my personal favorite)

Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in Hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006!!!!: They know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease islocated among the millions and millions of cows in America but they haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe they should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Kill Me Now

But my GAWD it's funny. American Idol has begun yet again and the losers are trotted out yet again. There has been some talent, but they seem to be airing the poor tone deaf souls tonight...which is totally why I watch. If anything I have to hand it to the tone deaf...at least they have the courage to get on national television and attempt to sing. So yeah, actually, don't kill me, then I would miss who's coming up next....the gal with a funny tan who looks like a crack whore that crawled out of the gutter to hear herself talk...she clearly wasn't listening to the panel! See, it is so easy to laugh at the misery of others from the comfort of my own home. Gotta love television for providing me this opportunity. Go Idol!

The Golden Globes

What in the hell was Drew Barrymore wearing and when did she burn her bra? Most of the dresses last night were stunning, but I have to say Drew, this was a mistake. Turn the headlights off, you're on stage.

Thirteen Things about Jude I graduated the first year they introduced Grade 12 in Newfoundland (now Newfoundland and Labrador). My brother was a year behind me for so many years and then was able to graduate in grade 11...not fair! I was married for 14 LOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGG years. And divorced for over 5 glorious years. I have a chipped tooth from trying to upright a parking lot chain post. Stupid kid. I hope to someday live in a castle in Ireland. That would be my ultimate...and if there is an available prince somewhere to shag shack up with, even better. I have never seen cocaine in person. I have however, known too many people who abuse it. I used to stage little plays in my back yard on the picnic table and charge my friends to see it. What a cliche... It was my childhood friend, Gisele, who first taught me the F-word. I can even remember where we were...swinging on my dad's canvas hammocks. My sex talk with my mother consisted of a stack of booklets under my pillow. She came back a week later and asked me if I read them and told me there was a box in the closet for me. I once picked neighborhood flowers and then tried to sell them door to door. I was 3 and I remember it. I think I also tried to sell rocks I had found in the yard. My first computer was a Packard Bell 486 with Windows 3.1. My grandmother taught me to sew and bought me my first sewing machine from the Eaton's catalogue for my tenth birthday. I still sew all the time, thanks to my grandmother's inspiration, and I now have 3 sewing machines including the old hand crank one she taught me how to sew on. My first new bicycle was a blue one with a bananna seat and streamers on the handlebars. My father tried to get me on the old 8mm video cameras (without sound) and I couldn't get going on my own. I trashed my Toyota Camry on Friday the 13th, 2000. Tomorrow is another Friday 13th and this year I have a black cat that I adopted last year on Friday 13th of May. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Why Can't Men Understand Women?

I won't apologize to the male readers...you know most of this is true...

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,>pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."(love the way she thinks)

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM foran early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. (my personal favorite)

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cottonballs and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.(ya gotta give this guy credit for creativity...but I bet he slept on the couch that night with a tampon drove up his ass)

Beware the Weak Stomach

So I warned you.

Saturday is typically cleaning day for me and since I work full time, I save up most dirty chores for the weekend, including cleaning cat litter, leftovers in the fridge, the bathroom, the garbage, and often times, dirty dishes.

Today was no exception. I began with cleaning out the leftovers, including the turkey dinner ones from December 26th...I know, it's been a frightful many days ago, but I knew that once I cleaned it out, I had to make a trip to the dump on the same day, and that's not always easy. They are only open the same hours as I work, basically, but are also open on weekends. So, by the time I got to dumping the "cuddins" as my SIL M. used to call them (what you cuddin' eat 'afore), things smelled less than pleasant. The vegetables weren't bad, and oddly, neither was the gravy, but the turkey was quite rank...

Following the cuddins, I moved on to the garbage. And since I recycle and burn what I can, I don't tend to have a lot of kitchen trash, but then it ends up staying in the bag longer...at the bottom was the wrapping from the turkey before cooking, the various and assorted entrails they feel they need to include, but I never eat, and the neck. It's been nearly two weeks, so they are good and ripe too, and unfortunately, dripping from the bottom. Great. Now I have to double bag as I have to take the trash to the dump in the backseat as the trunk of the government car is full of carseats. Then the trash bin needs to be scoured and it takes three washes with Mr Clean to come close to erasing the putrid odor of spoiled food.

ok, on to the cat litter trays. My LEAST favorite task in the whole house. So what is it with males anyhow? Tom cats and male humans seem to make 10 times the mess women and female felines do. I rarely had much mess to clean with just Via, a quick dump and swish and things were sparkling again. And I had her for 8 years and she was very consistently tidy. Um, Stormy is a fucking pig. There are piles and piles of uncovered messes, and he has it all up the sides, edges, floor in front, and so on. What a pig. I think I need to just stop feeding him.

So, an hour or so later, that chore is done. On to the bathroom. Well, I have been growing my hair out this past year...going from near brushcut to long past my shoulders now. And either I am losing more hair or the fact that it is longer makes it look like that. In any event, the bathtub drain is clogged with it. I grab on and begin pulling, and pulling, and pulling. EEEEEEWWWWW. And there seems to be a slow drain there anyhow, so the soap scum from showering and the hair are all matted to the drain area, and need to be scrubbed. Gross, I know, but I am often dressed and out of the house before the bathtub is drained, so what can I do...I think I need some drain cleaner.

So, there you have it, Saturday chores are almost done. I only have to load up the car and make a trip to the dump. There is no curbside service here, so it is a pain in the ass, but thankfully I don't have much trash...it is mostly kitty litter.

ugh, puke, arrrghhhhh.

What a Loser...

Ah, Stormy my boy...what a loser, complete with a fruit sticker in the middle of his forehead...heh heh...love that stretch though!!! He is so very handsomely cute...

New Year's Day

DAMMIT!!! I SAID STOP!!!!

I took this pic at the end of my road on New Year's Day...my neighbor thought it was me...um, no. I had a glass of wine at 8pm, a beer at 10:30pm and a shot of champagne at midnight. I went home at 2am. Um, no. Oh, and I also ate my weight way through the evening as well...lotsa good munchings there too.

so...I wonder just who it was...there are only a few houses on my street, 6 I think.

Car Shopping

Well, my car lease is up soon and so that leaves me to be car shopping this year. Now that I'm up north, I am thinking that my Echo is not exactly what I want to be driving up here. At first I thought I wanted a pick-up truck, but that was mostly because I wanted something with four wheel drive. Then I was concerned with mileage being so much higher with a truck....hmmm...what to do. And then I came across my co-worker today and asked her about her Matrix and lo and behold, the Matrix is 4 wheel drive, so whoo hoo, guess who's going for a test drive soon?

The gas mileage is a little less on the Matrix than on my Echo, but still better than any pick-up truck. And the cargo area in the rear is plenty of room for what I need. I think my roof rack will also fit it too, I just need the foot kit for the Matrix.

I am also interested in trying a red car this time too...I kinda like the look of the Matrix.

Resolutions For 2006

1. to become more fit (a standing resolution)
2. to get ahead of my debt and reduce my spending!
3. to visit my sister more often
4. to do more reading and less television watching
5. to explore the north and get out of hiding
6. to spend Christmas with family members, somewhere, somehow
7. to spend more time developing artistic talent (stop laughing)
8. to organize my crap (most of it IS crap, so why not throw it out?)

that's enough. I kept 7 of last year's resolutions so that's pretty impressive...let's see how 2006 goes...

2005 Dreamazone Review

Happy New Year readers. I thought I might post a little wrapup of the year as captured on the dreamazone.

January
- checked into the new year's resolutions...I kept about 7 of the 10 which I think is phenomenal...yahoo!
- overdoing it physically...there was pain involved.
- diagnosis of fibromyalgia...finally some sense was made of things
- sleep restored...relief of a lifetime
- the addition of photos...big improvement
- oh yeah, snow. lots of it.

February
- I resumed massage therapy...NICE!
- empty nest feelings
- confrontation with the trash man
- memes were apparently popular on my blog
- another sucky Valentine's day
- a visit from my daughter
- crappy singles ads
- killer bacon
- the Oscars
- oh yeah, and more snow.

March
- winter common cold
- the beginnings of my decision to move north(again)
- a visit from the parents
- more induced pain
- too much curling
- another glorious stumble
- lists, lots of lists
- invasion of the flies
- oh, and much more snow.

April
- yet another cold
- Easter candy...lotsa candy
- aquisition of a full-sized barbecue
- the on-call shift from HELL
- more induced pain
- Via's big kill
- and yet more snow

May
- a list of my spectacular stumbles
- a new tattoo (the sunflower on my hand)
- acquisition of a new digital camera
- the killer fire pit
- ten heads, no ears...still cracks me up
- Stormy moves in and takes over
- snow and sunburn on the same day
- clothes shopping
- another visit from the lovely non-resident teenager
- and now we are into incessant rain.

June
- my daughter reached the age of majority with both of us alive
- more lists
- the first camping trip of the year, whoo hoo!
- feline issues
- student loan woes, the bastards
- my new sofa (first in 8 years)
- my yard exploded
- oh, and more rain

July
- visit to Newfoundland
- got my kayak!!!
- summer heat has arrived (certainly not in Newfoundland though)
- Shoreline Festival in PEI!
- my rediscovery of music
- the Nova Scotia International Tattoo

August
- ISP crap
- camping trip to the Coal Mines
- SUNBURN
- visit with my neice
- purchase of a ticket to the Rolling Stones Concert in September
- formal application for a job up north
- summer heat
- taking stock of my injurious vacation
- barbecuing in the rain
- camping at the cabin

September
- acquisition of a new Dell laptop!
- near acquisition of a second Dell puter, for free!
- work frustrations
- hotel room shopping
- Stormy got neutered (ouch)
- the new job - hired for a job in the Yukon
- decision for surgery
- THE ROLLING STONES CONCERT!!!
- and another tattoo

October
- parental visit
- gall bladder surgery and subsequent recouperation
- phone woes (never ending when you deal with Aliant)
- daughter changed living accomodations
- preparing for the move
- Halloween party at S's house - I was the sex book
- moving out

November
- saying goodbye
- the MOVE north
- Stormy catches a mouse
- the hospitality of my friends
- hotel living sucks
- my feral cat
- Yukon life
- new job
- new digs - my lovely cabin in the woods

December
- going wireless!
- "chinese auction"
- the quietest Christmas ever
- the introduction of Jack
- the passage of time
- 25 years since John died...Imagine
- more feline issues (let the shredding begin)

so there you have it, my 2005 in review. Wake up, it's over.