Oh Great.
Now I don't want to be a social worker anymore. What does that mean? Thousands down the brain, I mean drain. Talk about a Freudian slip. Perhaps its just a combination of workplace stress, clients who annoy me, and listening to the same old crap everyday just doesn't do it for me anymore. I am questioning why I even got into this field in the first place. I thought about trying another field of social work, but I am feeling like it just isn't me anymore.
So what does THAT mean. It might mean that when my term is up, I'm outta here. But to go where? And do what? I have always been interested in social research, so perhaps going back to university is something I need to look at. I know I can't get into much with all undergrad degrees. I recall when I was in my sociology degree, I really enjoyed the research aspect of it. Or maybe I could master in criminology and get more into the criminal field somewhere.
And of course, as is my usual fare, I'll probably change my mind again tomorrow. So often I hear from others that they could never do my job, its too hard, too stressful, too unpleasant, etc. Now I don't want to.
Maybe I just need a vacation or something. Maybe I need a good shag. All I do know is that I don't like the way things are just now with my job. The money is good of course, but I am just SO sick of it all. Perfect timing, eh. Dragged my ass all the way across the country for what...more money, cozy cabin, and a job I don't want to do anymore. The feeling is not entirely new, though. When I was on the east coast I had been getting tired of the job. I had said in the beginning that I would keep working in social work until I didn't want to get up in the morning to go to work anymore. I had those days last fall, and now here they are again.
ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.
5 comments:
I think you're just not getting enough of a debrief (not a double entendre) after work...
Most of your posts since moving there seem to be about going out with your co-workers, so I wonder if you're just not getting far enough "away" from work.
Go out and find friends. LOTS of friends.
J- you know i have had the same thoughts about getting out of social work since i quit the MSW. I still think i want out- but people are always telling me how good i am at the job. You are very good at the job, too, but i will not guilt you into thinking its your obligation to stay in this feild. I do think it would be good to truly get a sense of what you would be happy doing before jumping back into another student loan. BH- Not sure it would be quite the same in Whitehorse, but here on the East Coast protection workers are social pariahs. No one wants to befriend "the cas" and regardless of how much i try to be ME, folks around here only see my job.
Take care, J.... one of these nights I won't be asleep by the time you get home. We can plan our escape "in pursuit of happiness".
~still considering anti-depressants
ohhh...rough day again today, however I am no longer suffering in silence and am getting some help from the team tomorrow. With any luck, things will ease up soon for me and I will begin to enjoy it again up here. I was out tonight with a co-worker, but he had some friends over and we played Cranium and didn't talk about work at all...yahoo!
Man - I feel with you. As a social worker (In criminal justice!), I too am well aware that, at times, this job can suck the life from you. But it sounds like you're coping well (I highly recommend alcohol ;-) Just remember to take care of you whilst busy caring for others.
Cheers,
alcohol works but leaves me feeling tired for the next day. Herbs seem to be doing the trick...but I am planning my escape from social work...
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