Sniff...I Need My Mom

I am under the weather. Or am I the weather? It sure is cloudy in my head, whatever is going on. Off to the health centre this morning to get checked out and left with antibiotics. Sigh...I feel like crapola...stuffy head, pain in my ear, sore throat, swollen glands, headache...ugh...I have been on the sofa all day, dozing and watching daytime television. Simon Cowell was on Ellen today...and there are clearly too many soap operas still on...

I need my mom to bring me gingerale. It doesn't taste nearly as cool and crisp when I have to slog out to the kitchen and get it myself...

Goodbye My Little Newfie

Sadly, I had little miss Via put down tonight, and it broke my heart. She had fluid on her heart and in her abdomen, and the vet feels it was a nasty viral infection that took over her little body. They did what they could, but the outcome was to be the same. I've had her with me for nearly 10 years since conception...I had her mother, Pretty for nearly 10 years, and when Pretty was 9, she had Via in a litter of one, 5 days before I moved from Newfoundland. We bustled her off into the carrier with her mother, and they travelled by car, boat, train, truck, and van to get to Waterloo. Her mother became ill several months after we arrived and had to be put down, so I was so happy her mother had this little kitten for us before she died. Via was a wonderful kitty, probably the best I've ever had. She never destroyed furniture, never made a mess, slept with me every night we were in the same house, never meowed, and was just a real snuggle bug.

Stormy was a little bastard to her and I'll carry that guilt around for a while, knowing how miserable he made her when he would pounce on her. Although they did not get along, I'm sure he will miss the companionship, if nothing else. I know I will.

Call me a crazy cat lady all you want, but I have asked for her ashes back when they are done. I'd like to get them home to Newfoundland for her some day, and until then, they will be with me.

More guilt comes when I think of the times when I shooed her away, not wanting a cat on my neck (she didn't do laps much, preferring to be up under your chin, hanging off your shoulder) at the time, so will have to live with that too. I know it's all normal guilt and will fade with time, but it doesn't make it any easier right now, as I envision her hurt look when I shooed her down in order to eat or use the computer. Now I can never hold her again, and of course, it bothers me. The Catholics don't hold the market on guilt...there is plenty left over for the agnostics...

So, my little friend. You were a faithful companion and saw me through many of the more difficult periods of my life and asked so little in return. I won't miss the white fur all over my clothes, but I will miss your little warm body at night. You've slept with me since you were old enough to climb onto the bed and helped my bed feel less lonely. I hope you are at peace now, and not in pain.

How Much Is That Kitty In The Window

Snapped this the other day while Via was basking in the sunlight...she is a heat source addict. Her favorite spot is to lay on top of the furnace duct. At night she usually sleeps with me under the covers with her head on the pillow next to me...and when that isn't available (because I am asleep and she can't get in where she wants) she will curl up behind my arse end...it must be warm there, lol...

My Mother Thinks I've Pissed The Bed

When I was younger and living at home, my mother would ask me if I pissed the bed if I got up earlier than usual, particularly on weekends. I have usually been an early riser, but today I was up at 6:45am, after waking at about 6:30 and tossed for a bit, but the brain was awake. You know the feeling...once your brain wakes up, it starts running through what you want to accomplish in the coming day, and so much so, I can't turn over for a second nap...so I get up.

There was also a party going on somewhere. I could hear music, and I know they didn't get UP and turn the music on...they are STILL up from last night. There is a party here in town every night of the week, somewhere. I usually don't hear music, but I think it's because the wind is still thus far, so sound travels very easily.

Week in Review

I haven't posted in a few days...been busy...

• flew out by charter yesterday for a seminar in another city
• Tuesday was check-up day...time to pop the hood and take a look. Yup, time for the annual physical - hope that everyone takes the time to do so. Mine took quite a while, well over an hour...but the nurse was new to the centre so had to gather everything from various rooms, and it wasn't the regular day for well-woman checkups. I didn't mind...I like it when they are thorough. I had a 12-lead EKG which was fine, but I forgot to remove one of the sticky patches with the snap on it from under my boob. All day long I was wondering why my fucking bra was irritating me so much...then I got home from work and took it off (like usual - socks and bra get the fling when I get home from work) and I was still irritated...so then I found the sticky...it's no wonder I was irriated all day...
• did some power shopping yesterday and managed to pick up some new sheets. I don't know what the cats are doing my bedding but it gets shredded pretty quickly, particularly the sheets. So I don't buy expensive ones, however I do like plain cotton, no printed polyester for me! Stormy "helped" me make the bed when they were washed and dried...he loves to hide under them as I tuck things in.
• the snow is going fast, though it's been a little chillier the past few days...-6C the past two mornings. I'll be glad when the ice is out of the lake so I can get paddling
• I made a huge fucking mess last night. I was thoroughly disgusted with myself. I had gotten a snack and was settling down next to the coffee table with it, and had intended on surfing for a bit. Well, as I picked up my frosted glass of beer, it slipped and I dropped it onto the table where it bounced and I was at least able to grab it before it tipped, but not before half of the contents flew out of it, all over the table. Now anyone who knows me and has been to my house in recent years knows that I have quite a cluttered coffee table, as it is my centre...a basket of remotes (there are so damn many and I can't get one universal one to work them ALL, just some of them) and of course they got hit. They all work, but what a damn mess. I also have that rubber non-slip matting underneath two table runners to protect my table and they were a MESS. I was lucky it just splashed the corner of my laptop because if it had ruined it, it would have been punted into the driveway, through the front door...needless to say, I didn't get to snack for about a half an hour while I cleaned up the dirty mess. ARRRRGGGHHHH.
• tomorrow is Friday. Yayyyyyyy! I don't have any plans, however I do expect to be cleaning house, working on my scrapbook (I am determined to FINISH IT) and the usual puttering. There will be BBQ (coming over miss L?) I reckon and then I have to pack for my next trip away...have to head to the city for training on adoptions on Monday.

Happy Thursday everyone...

It Only Took ALL Afternoon

I finally dragged out all my scrapbooking mess and spread it over the table. It is going to stay there until I finish the damn stuff or I get sick of looking at it. I mean, it's not like I eat at the table very often. I eat where most single women eat...in front of the tv at the coffee table or standing at the kitchen sink.

I have been buying stuff to scrapbook with for a few years now but have not touched it in over 2 years. It's not like I haven't had the time either...or the subject to work with. The one I've just begun is of our trip to central America in 2004. I also have some photos taken out for several friends pages, and a few of the kid as well for her sleep book.

I still have one to do for Ireland's journey in 2001. At the very least, I do have those photos in an album with writing in the margins...but I still have a huge pile of souvenir paper stuff that I want to put in an album with photos. Sigh...it will come. I've managed to fuck around all day at this and get 2 pages done. I think I started at noon and now it's after 6pm. What in the hell was I doing all day...

The Disappearing Art of Letter Writing

As I attempted to handwrite a letter to my parents today, I realized the sad truth. Computers have spoiled me, and ruined my handwriting. I could not believe the hen scratch that came out of my hand. One would think I was writing with my toes...

Then I opened a waylaid Christmas card today that was in a parcel of old mail from my daughter (apparently, sending mail on was not a high priority for her) and in this card from my aunt and uncle was a hand written note, as usual, except this year, her handwriting is quite wobbly due to arthritis...but dammit, she wrote to me anyhow, so that's commendable.

The problem is, now I want to handwrite a note to her and my writing is atrocious...I need to practice...bring on the looseleaf. Before you know it I'll be making lists like my sister ALWAYS did (and probably still does) just to practice my handwriting. It wasn't as bad when I was in university because I had to handwrite all my exams...and if I expected to pass, it had to be legible...

off I go to practice my handwriting...

Happy Birthday Stormy

This weekend marks Stormy's 2nd birthday. He was born in the barn, so his exact birthday is a little sketchy...so I have picked April 9th, which is Monday. He seems much older than 2. I think it is the history and travel he has done...Happy Birthday you little bastard Stormy.

Vision Update

Well, it has been nearly 5 weeks since my laser surgery and I believe my vision is about 20/20. I still have some haze, and dry eyes, but overall, it looks like the surgery was a success. I am back to doing most of the activities I did before, though I do still spend considerably less time on the net. Haven't played many games online, that's for sure. The light sensitivity is not as bad as it was in the beginning (which was AWFUL) but it annoys me after a bit. I have a screen on my monitor at work, so have found that to be a great relief. Now I have to figure out what to do about my laptop screen. Or do I...I've been spending more time reading since my eye surgery...as electronic screens bother my eyes if I watch them too long (tv or computer). I have enjoyed my return to reading novels. I'd been lax over the past several months...laziness I suppose, as there is no shortage of interesting novels out there, as well as on my own shelves. I often have about a dozen or so books I haven't read yet, since I am constantly buying them, or having them loaned to me. I'm reading a loaner one this week. I can read anytime during the day with no real issue, (other than me snoozing off, lol) but my habitual time to read was in bed at night, but that has turned out to be the least comfortable time for me to read, and I often just can't as my eyes won't cooperate. I am really hoping that part goes away, but I have no doubt that it will, since most other symptoms have been steadily fading.

I had initially feared an undercorrection, which the surgeon warned me about, and with my left eye taking so long to heal up, I figured he was right. But now my left and right eyes seem to be even, though I won't know for sure until my next and final checkup in a few weeks. At least I hope it is my last checkup...

To be honest (and I would have thought otherwise) I don't tend to think about my eyes much anymore, which is quite interesting. As long as I can see the basics, and get through my day without inconvenience, then I am not likely to think of them. Lest you think me ungrateful though, I am increasingly thankful for my eyesight. I was worried (and still am to some degree) that my vision won't be as good as it was when corrected with lenses. While I was miserable with lenses (grit, dryness, duration of wearability, loss, damage, etc) and glasses (too heavy on my nose, slipping down all the time when working up a sweat, fear of loss, limited side vision, etc) I wasn't looking to trade in those annoyances for something new. Or to require a bottle of artificial tears in every room (I rarely have pockets and things that do find there way in usually suffer a ill fated end in the washing machine) coat pocket, and purse.

So there you have it. I am returning to my bed to read for a bit, and then watch more of Stephen King's The Stand on VHS...it's been a sick day from work, so I am actually resting.

My Cat Thinks I am Interesting

Stormy likes to follow me. Often. Pretty near any time I go out into the kitchen. Sometimes he will lay on the sofa and watch me in the kitchen...and wait for things to get more interesting - like I am making anything with food...

Anytime I speak out loud and he is not in the room (and he knows I am alone) he will come running into the room to see what's going on.

When I go into the bathroom for whatever reason, I generally leave the door open (only when alone of course) and he will come sauntering in, curling around the door. Via comes in for the chance at running water she can get into.

When I am making the bed, Stormy likes to come in and "help". And if he is in the living room when I am at it, he hears me and comes running in on the bed. He loves running under the covers when I am flapping them over the bed.

When I come home from work, he is laying on the top edge of the sofa, looking out at the driveway for me to pull in, and comes running to the door to greet me, smelling everything to see if I've been anywhere new, perhaps cheating on him with another cat...

When I bring a snack into the living room, he will come prowling over to see if it is anything he might like me to "share" with him. And if I don't share, he sometimes will push his luck...until I shove him under the table.

His favorite place to perch and watch me is in his fleecy cat bed on the sofa to my left. He can watch all the action from there I'll reckon.

When I sit on the floor with my legs under the coffee table, he will come over and lay down beside me, watching what I'm up to (usually using my laptop on the table, or writing something).

And just so I don't forget him, regularly he will come thundering over and leap onto my chest to demand attention, standing there, before settling down across one shoulder.

Apparently he likes the smell of me as well and sniffs me with his wet nose all the time...which I HATE.

I wonder if he gets bored with me as well...that's probably when he goes into my bedroom on my bed, which is only now and then. Via is there every day. She doesn't think I'm interesting at all, unless I am shaking a can of treats. Otherwise she ignores me until she is ready for affection.