Goodbye My Little Newfie

Sadly, I had little miss Via put down tonight, and it broke my heart. She had fluid on her heart and in her abdomen, and the vet feels it was a nasty viral infection that took over her little body. They did what they could, but the outcome was to be the same. I've had her with me for nearly 10 years since conception...I had her mother, Pretty for nearly 10 years, and when Pretty was 9, she had Via in a litter of one, 5 days before I moved from Newfoundland. We bustled her off into the carrier with her mother, and they travelled by car, boat, train, truck, and van to get to Waterloo. Her mother became ill several months after we arrived and had to be put down, so I was so happy her mother had this little kitten for us before she died. Via was a wonderful kitty, probably the best I've ever had. She never destroyed furniture, never made a mess, slept with me every night we were in the same house, never meowed, and was just a real snuggle bug.

Stormy was a little bastard to her and I'll carry that guilt around for a while, knowing how miserable he made her when he would pounce on her. Although they did not get along, I'm sure he will miss the companionship, if nothing else. I know I will.

Call me a crazy cat lady all you want, but I have asked for her ashes back when they are done. I'd like to get them home to Newfoundland for her some day, and until then, they will be with me.

More guilt comes when I think of the times when I shooed her away, not wanting a cat on my neck (she didn't do laps much, preferring to be up under your chin, hanging off your shoulder) at the time, so will have to live with that too. I know it's all normal guilt and will fade with time, but it doesn't make it any easier right now, as I envision her hurt look when I shooed her down in order to eat or use the computer. Now I can never hold her again, and of course, it bothers me. The Catholics don't hold the market on guilt...there is plenty left over for the agnostics...

So, my little friend. You were a faithful companion and saw me through many of the more difficult periods of my life and asked so little in return. I won't miss the white fur all over my clothes, but I will miss your little warm body at night. You've slept with me since you were old enough to climb onto the bed and helped my bed feel less lonely. I hope you are at peace now, and not in pain.