25 Signs That You're All Grown Up

I've marked an X after the ones I personally identify with, lol...

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. X
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. X
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. X
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup." X
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. X
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those fucking kids next door won't turn down the stereo. X
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. X
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. X
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. X
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. X
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. X
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." X
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. X
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt. Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the same.

BONUS: When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh S*$# What Happened??" X