holy shit, it's February now...where did January go???

it blew by in a storm...

ok, I don't know how I like this whole no curfew things for the resident teenager. I had promised her that once she finished school, she could drop her curfew, and that all I would like from her is a phone call to let me know if she was coming home that night or not, or a check-in at midnight. She left earlier tonight for a friend's house to celebrate his birthday, and left me a note saying she would likely be home tonight, which meant she would be home by about midnight as the others would probably go to the bar and she can't get in (not that she hasn't tried!). It is now 1:20am and no word or sign from the child.

Knowing her, she is probably just asleep over there, as she doesn't usually last late anywhere...however, I would like to know that....my overactive brain just worries. She has a cell phone, but of course, leaves it in her purse, which she throws under a chair as soon as she gets there. It just rings and rings, so what's the point? ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH....I am in my mother's world...worrywart hell!

It is bitter cold tonight, only to add to my worries...what in the hell will I ever do when she moves out...I'll just have to check into "la nut farm"...

looks like a dusting of new snow on the ground...nothing to shovel yet though, good thing as Brad is at the party with resident teen!

well, another day, another snowfall. I'm heading to Cheticamp today, lets see how much snow they have. Could prove to be interesting if it gets snowy...I still haven't bought my snow tires yet...I was waiting to see how the winter went....

My child is sleeping in this morning...the first of many such mornings as she has completed high school. How did this happen? my stomach flutters at the thoughts of her leaving home, as finishing high school brings her this much closer to that step. I hear her telling her father, friends and other relatives about moving out and I want to throw up. Most parents look forward to the empty nest as their time to get out and spend time with each other, however, as a single parent, it just means I will be alone. I know I can't keep her at home to keep me company (really, I can't???) but it would be nice to drag it out for one more year. I enjoy having her with me so much (really, I do!!!) that I will surely miss her smiling face in the mornings...other things I will miss about having my darling teenager at home with me:

- bedside chats late at night about anything and everything
- hearing "what's for supper" as I walk through the door after a long day at work
- feeling her arms snake up around my neck as she seeks comfort after a particularly bad day
- tripping over mounds of clothing that has been cast aside as she walks through the house...a coat here, a scarf there, a pair of mittens over there, six pairs of socks at the end of the couch...
- hearing that laugh as we sit and watch episode after episode of Will and Grace
- the running commentary on my appearance - "you're not gonna wear that out today are you?" or "aren't you gonna get dressed, you dirty old thing?"

many more...have to run now...will complete later...
-

I have a cold now. I hate being sick. I am not a good patient. Amber felt sorry for me today and made me some KD...it was a comfort food now that I have finally gotten over the many years of being subjected to eating it daily by my parents.

The wind has died down some, but here comes the snow...

I don't like winter.
I don't like snow.
I don't like the cold.
I don't like being sick.
I want my mom.

I think I detest the cold about as much as I detest snow...it has been downright frigid these past few days again...Antigonish had a wind chill of -50C, what the F***? I came to Cape Breton thinking they have mild winters...lots of snow, no kidding on that one, but not this frigging deep freeze. It is so cold and windy that my car almost doesn't start in the morning...good thing its a newer car, or I'd be out of luck. I have wanted to get out walking since the new year, but if it isn't arctic deep chill out there, it is a blizzard...what a rotten winter. I like the nice sunny winter days where there is no wind and the sun glints off the sparkly snow...instead I have this hell hole I am living in. WAHHHHHH!

All my thoughts return to warm and sunny central america where we hope to be in mid April...just less than three months from now...ahhhhh...beaches, tropical waters, and fruity drinks...and, oh the tan I will return with! Just at the beginning of summer here too. My luck though, I will be eaten alive by mosquitoes and sick with malaria, burnt to a crisp, or waterlogged from the torrential rains.

but it would be warm and snow free.

cold out today...freezing, actually! But no new snow...although the old snow is now ICE and I have a huge slick of it in the driveway. Good day to stay indoors. So I have invited the gals from work over and we are going to commit some of the 7 deadly sins...sloth, greed, etc...ha ha...nachos, beer, lasagna, movies, lounging, crafts...chillin day. There should be about 6 or 7 of us, so look forward to the fun. I just sent one of the gals out for Tims...before the others get here. I need caffeine!!!

the brilliant candy apple red hair is starting to fade a little so might need to touch it up a bit this week. The resident teen dyed hers purple this week...VERY purple...

I applied for two jobs up north this week, just to see whats out there...am I crazy? I hate snow and don't much like the cold, so where do I apply? Victoria Island and northern BC...nuts!

it is snowing again. is it June yet? I know I live in Canada, and better yet, in Eastern Canada, but does it have to snow every friggin day...its like all the nice days we had in December, the snow was saved up for this month and they are trying to cram it in. Who are "they"? I want to have a word...or two.

But I have a Brad, so I should be ok. Snow from last night and today is gone from my driveway and walk...what do I REALLY have to complain about. Except that I have to drive in it for work...and my car is filthy with salt and sludge...and I fear I will have an accident soon if I don't get some winter tires on that sucker. Honestly, its all about the clothes though...I hate wearing winter clothes...its soo bulky! I like wearing my jean jacket and thats it. But I will wear my Columbia winter jacket, and forgo the jean jacket for now, but don't ask me to give up my sneakers...I don't even own a pair of boots.

Oh, and the wind has started up again, so now I don't hear the trucks as much.

well holy tamale, it finally stopped snowing, and the wind has stopped BLOWING. Now I can hear the damn trucks again. But at least Brad is shovelling the snow! Whoo hoo! Everyone should have a Brad. He is such a sweetie.

And the cold weather has gone, now it is a damp and slushy mess...I'll take it. Just don't send me any more snow.

so now that it has stopped snowing, what will I bitch about? work? no, just kidding...things are going well in life...I just need some male companionship which is hard to come by in this one horse town...can't wait to move this fall. My supervisor cringes every time I mention moving...they are desperate to maintain positions here. They have one opening now that they cannot fill. But I don't like it here enough to put in another winter after this one. I never thought I would say it but nessicito un hombre...

another blizzard, or maybe the same one...more snow...but yet I don't have to shovel it...thanks to BRAD. Most of it has blown away again, anyhow...and the temp is finally at a respectable -5C or so...much more seasonable. And I can close my frozen door again. Strong winds have left me thankful that I live in a brick building (ok, mostly brick). Sort of settles my OZ worries.

the resident teen and b/f are going out to supper tonight...where's my date? Good question.

boo hoo.

so the temp is going up SLOWLY and the snow is not as bad as it might have been...but still a blizzard warning for tonight...good night to curl up in the living room in front of the television...oh wait...mine nearly blew up the other day. The resident teenager came home, turned it on and a high pitched SCREAM came from it, the picture was squiggly, then squished together and went altogether. And that was the end of THAT. Good thing its under warranty...bad thing the repair shop is 45 minutes away and we are in the middle of a blizzard these past two days. I am hoping to get it over on Monday. THANKFULLY I have two other littler tvs, and of course, I could always READ.

And guess who was dutifully out there shovelling me out again this morning...I tell ya...I am gonna be spoiled...what if she breaks up with the b/f???

So the weekend stretches long ahead of me...I am on call, so won't get up to much. Perhaps a bit of much needed housework....HAR HAR HAR.

or I could just move the vcr into the bedroom with the little tv and camp out there for the weekend...

um, maybe I hate the cold more than the snow...or at least almost as much. It is FREEZING here. -39C with the wind chill...

I have my electric blanket on HIGH.

On another note, the resident teen has just completed her last homework assignment for high school...note, LAST. she has three exams left to write in the next week or so, and she will have completed grade 12. And if she chooses, she does not ever have to go to school again after that...wow. How can I be old enough to be the mother of a high school graduate??? And how do I help her celebrate this? She has been sooooooo stressed lately, that she deserves something really great.

I am feeling old.

finally! I am reaping the benefits of the semi-live in b/f of the resident teen...Alas, it is early and my car is already shovelled out! I have not lifted a shovel! This is majorly exciting...and we had quite a dump of snow last night. I can't wait to thank him for his efforts when I get home from work.

Now I have to drive in this stuff, and you will remember, I have no snow tires yet, only all-season radials. I had the same tires last winter, and did fine, even with the enormous amounts of snow, but I had an agency car with studded tires to use for work. Perhaps the true test of a good driver is how long you can keep out of the snowbanks without having snow tires on....HAR HAR!

4.5 hours in the computer lab with the resident teenager last night, finishing up her sociology project. I didn't have to do much, just moral support to prevent the meltdown that happened the night before from recurring. And you know what...computers labs have changed since I have been to high school...

This lab is reported to be the most well equipped school lab in Nova Scotia. Man, I was impressed...its all MAC's but I was impressed just the same. They have the HUGE flat plasma screens for many of them, plus the little pop-up toaster macs, ones you hover your finger over for them to come on (heat sensing), and the hard drives on them are unreal. This lab is also the SAERC TV lab, on which they play public announcements, ads, and tv bingo. They also have their own radio station. Cameras - whatever you need - digital, analog, film, just ask. For me, the drool factor was definitely the huge flat plasma screens...I remember the days of the black screen with harsh green print was all our lab had to offer and I didn't even get to use that. We only had one computer class, and I began late that year and was not able to get in, so left high school without ever using a computer. My first computer experience came in 1993 when I began using them at the local school in Grand Bruit, then I bought my first in 1994 - A Packard Bell 486...from there I went to an IBC (small company who builds them in Ontario) Pentium 333 Celeron. Now I sport a Dell Dimension 2350 with a 1.75 GHz processor. We've come a long way baby!

it is snowing. hard. I am not happy. I still do not have snow tires. I guess I will have to finally break down and get them...arrrrrrggggghhhhh.

snow.

driving in the snow is never really fun. driving in the snow in the dark is never really fun. driving in the snow at 1:00am is definitely not fun. such was my night last night. the day began when the resident teen wanted to go to a movie in Sydney. Fine says I, but you will have to go to the early one, as you can't drive after midnight (graduated license). Problem - she worked until 7pm and Sydney is 1.5 hours away. Ok, so I make the plan to go down with my friends earlier in the day, meet the resident teen at the movie theatre after the movie. That part all worked out...then came the drive home.

and we all know how much I hate snow. It was clear driving down, and was clear for the first 20 minutes...then the blinding snowstorm came and I felt like I was driving across the antarctic. No other cars, no plows, no sand/salt trucks, no police, no tracks in the snow...not even deer!!! I was in no-mans land, for sure. What in the hell was I doing in the middle of it with no snow tires on. Yes, you hear right, no snow tires. Well, we haven't gotten much snow thus far this winter, so I was waiting to see how it goes, in case it turns out to be one of those really weird winters where you never really get any.

so I am driving through the blinding snow at about 60-70kms/hr. I don't know where in the hell the lines on the road are and it doesn't really matter much as I am the ONLY one out for most of the trip. The odd truck passed me going the other way, leaving me in a whiteout of flying snow. And it is COLD. I thought I was never going to get home, and each turn I rounded brought a new level of fear as I envisioned my car hurtling through space and snow into the nearest lake. Most of the drive brought me alongside the Bras D'Or Lakes or some such body of water.

and then I get 5 minutes from my house and there isn't a flake in the sky, nor much on the ground. What in the HELL is THAT all about? revenge on my whining about the snow I reckon.

So we get home at ten to two in the morning...YAWN...I don't think another late movie will be in order for some time now. But at least the one I saw was good...Mona Lisa Smile...worth the trip down...not so sure about the trip back...

well, the hair is still attached to my head...good news I think.

I am imagining what will be said at work tomorrow...I work for a conservative child welfare agency...HAR HAR HAR! Funnily enough, I had a similar hair color during my video interview nearly two years ago and was hired...so what could they say? I don't really worry about it, but some of my co-workers thought I should...heh heh...I just think it will help break the ice with manys a client, especially the teenagers that are so tough to get through to. It certainly worked when I worked at the agency for street youth in Kitchener. Now if I can just get the dye out from under my fingernails...

Back to work tomorrow...I guess that is the end of this glorious holiday season...I know Old Christmas Day is still yet to come on Tuesday, but my tree was long tossed out and trimmings thrown back in the box...good riddance, I say...and during the process, I de-cluttered the living room, moved a bookshelf, threw out some old junk, and cleaned out the Christmas trimmimgs box...lots of old junk in there...I am inspired by Clean Sweep...if they could just come to my house :-)

So I haven't heard from my buddy Shane lately...he can be found at Hairy Hoser I think he posts from work or some silly thing like that...

Still no real snow...had a flake or two last night, but it all melted...YAHOO! So instead of getting the resident teen's b/f to shovel snow, he now does the dishes until we get some snow for him to tackle...works for me.

time to go brush the pinky hair before bed...

ok...bleach is out...pinky purple dye is in...soon to come out...then glorious conditioner...a real treat for hair that has been through such a process....stay tuned....

so here I sit with a bag on my head...heard that joke manys atime...hah ha ha...

but seriously, I am bleaching out my hair again, and dying it pinky purple...again. Only this time my hair is really long, and has many different colors of dyes residual in it now, so who knows what I will end up with. In the past, certain pieces of hair have been resistant to bleaching, and remained black, which is what I am counting on, for black streaks that I don't have to do...

and it drives my mother wild...I told her I was dying my hair tonight and she thought (hoped) it was going back to my original color that "god" gave me. What in the hell is that??? I haven't had my own hair color for so many years, I don't even remember...I've been dying it for about 20 years or so, and many different colors! So I will finish up tonight by sending her a huge digital pic of my pinky purple hair...heh heh

the resident teen doesn't know that I am using up most of her hair dye...but oh well, she did the same with mine..she is tired of the pinky purple in her hair anyhow and wants to go to something else. I ordered purple tonight, so perhaps she will touch up with that when it arrives next week.

Got a dusting of snow, but nothing to get my undies in a bunch over...funnily enough, the plow was in our parking lot at work when I got there...and we only had 1 cm...he didn't show up until late afternoon when we got 45cms last month...what a...

b/f of resident teen did the dishes for me today...awwwwww....I think I'll keep him. He stays here 5 nights a week when he gets off work at 3am, and sleeps on the futon, so since there is no snow to shovel, he has taken to doing the dishes....awwwww...I am not complaining...I hate doing the dishes almost as much as shovelling snow.

I filed my requests for vacation time today...lets see how long it takes for my supervisor to stop laughing...I put in for 17 days off...