The Hammock

Well, as previously posted, I bought a hammock. You would think it would be a FUN thing, but it has turned into my nemesis. I bought this beautiful parachute cloth hammock from Nomad's Land and thought I had the perfect hanging place for it. I have a pine tree not far from my house, and the clothesline pole is just the right distance from it that I could use those ends to hang the hammock from. So I get a ring bolt, nearly twist my arm off winding that into the clothesline pole; get some nylon rope that I had from camping and tie onto the tree (I didn't want to put anything INTO the tree). The rope stretches a bit, but I adjust it and its fine. Jump into the hammock...a little rocking of the clothesline pole, but nothing serious. Ahhhh...swinging in the hammock in the shade of the summer. Then PLOP. A big goober of tree sap. That's odd, I didn't know pine trees lost much sap, but as it turns out, I have been ignorant of this fact. another PLOP. Well, that's it for this spot. I don't want to have to shower off and wash the hammock each time I use it.

So then I scan the yard and wonder if the apple trees farther back are too far apart. Turns out I had just enough rope to hang from either end and string the hammock inbetween. Ahhhh...just right...I get into the hammock and the rope STRETCHES beyond belief and I am on the ground. in my hammock. So I tighten it up as much as I can, and have to climb into it at 4 feet high, and still it stretches onto the ground. Dammit. The rope is too stretchy. Time to scope out a shorter distance.

So I stroll about the yard, looking for a good spot and wonder about the ash tree in the front yard, next to the patio. hmmm...I wrestle the rope onto the trunk of the ash tree, and tie it also onto the patio. It works! Ahhh...just right. swinging in my hammock in the coolness of the evening, watching the sun set. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
mosquitoes...uh-oh, not enough bug spray apparently. So I douse again. They stay away from me, but swarm the hammock on the outside. So I gracelessly plunk out of the hammock yet again and get the citronella buckets. The mosquitoes begin to ease off and then SWOOOOSHHH! A bat flew over my head under the branches of the tree. Ok. I'm done. Stupid hammock.