The last day of the year.

And I am spending it alone...not necessarily a bad thing. Had a few invitations from my friends to go here or there, but its not the same as going out with a date...so I am staying home, alone. New Years is a time for getting dressed up to go out, kissing someone special at midnight, drinking until dawn, breakfast at some diner...well, since I am alone this year, I am not partaking and will be spending it watching movies, eating some favorite snacks, and talking to other people who are "alone" on New Years.

What are my hopes for 2004?

- that my one and only child graduates from high school in June
- that said child begins university or some other meaningful venture this September
- that I move out of Port Hawkesbury, the zone of nothingness thrown at the side of the highway
- that I am lucky enough to get another job when I leave the zone
- that the resident teen and I return safely from our next adventure - Mexico and Central America in April
- that I figure out what the hell I am doing with my life once said child moves out
- that my sister safely delivers her THIRD child in June (and that it is a girl!)
- that I am not alone next New Years Eve

We'll just have to wait and see how the year goes...

All that fuss over Christmas and its all but over! Was a wonderful time though...Christmas Day the resident teenager jumped on my bed at 5:15am...thought she had outgrown that, but apparently NOT. So ma dragged her ass out of bed to open stockings, then head downstairs for the gift opening. Lots of lovely gifts and the resident teenager was pleased with her new larger backpack I gave her for our travels. Then I headed back to bed to SLEEP! About 10:30, aroused again by teenager, we got ourselves ready, picked up her b/f and headed to Sydney to see her sister and family. The little one is gorgeous! Brooklynn turned 2 on Monday, and she talks up a storm. She's a real sweetie and if I had stayed married to her grandfather, I would have been a grandma...YIKES! Good thing I got divorced, I am too young to be a grandma....give me a few more years yet...

So, hairy ride back in the rain, fog and sleet...then we set off for my friend Kathleen's to eat and drink. Good having that resident teenager around when you need a designated driver!!! After food and sloth, back home again to chat and get to bed...busy days coming...

Boxing day was all about cleanup and a short visit from my brother and his daughter. We exchanged gifts and everyone was pleased, then Olivia discovered the chocolate and it went down hill from there. They are heading to the rock to spend some time with my parents, so off they went, and back to cleaning up for us. A. then headed to work for the night and I went to bed early.

Saturday...brave the malls, not too bad...lineups acceptable...get in and out with what I need and off to a friend's house for the afternoon with friend K. We had a pleasant visit out of town, then back here again to feed and sloth before heading out to the 9th annual Snowbowl! No gals allowed to play...just fine with me...we all hung out inside and drank, ate and smoked...it was great! I did go out to watch from time to time, and saw one touchdown, so that was cool. Back home again at 1:30am, for SLEEP.

Yesterday, it was a girls day...food, sloth, movies, drinks, laughter, crafts - knitting and cross stitch that day; and a great time...Finding Nemo was HILARIOUS! Gotta love Ellen, huh? We also watched A Beautiful Mind, Pirates of the Carribean, and Notting Hill.

Today is much easier...some shopping (mall was a zoo) and home for sloth, drinks, food, and movies...and more knitting! I bought some Feather Boa "yarn" and am making a fuzzy scarf.

So there you go...now the week ahead has more social outings, but for a couple of days, its all about me...har har...

Here I sit, all shopped out. I have bought the very last thing I am going to buy for Christmas. Absolutely. I have the turkey dinner and all the trimmings, all the gifts and stocking stuffer...oh crap...what about the booze...have to go to the liquor store! But that's usually not as busy as the ZOO Wal-mart was tonight! Gazooks, they must make a killing this time of year.

I nearly got smoked by a car today...I had looked left and right before pulling into the intersection to cross the highway and WHATTHEHELL out of nowhere, there was a car in front of me, going across...she must have pulled out of the Credit Union parking lot after I looked right...that intersection sees lots of accidents, as they really need a signal light. I just hope I am not in one there...I saw my life flash for a second or two!

the weather channels says no snow for Christmas it seems...WHOO HOOO! I used to care about that before but after last winter's shovelling extravaganza...I couldn't care less. Green Christmas...so what. We might even have rain. At least I don't have to shovel rain.

I have a splitting headache today, and still do that mysteriously appeared after spending an hour in the same car as a certain co-worker of mine. Wonder what the connection is

So, in light of said headache, I think I shall retire early tonight.

apparently there wasn't much to say later...

a friend dropped over with some flowers and a birthday cake...awwww....how sweet. I haven't had a cake in years and I love to get flowers, so it was grand. Then we made Kraft dinner and went to Canadian Tire.

But earlier in the day, the resident teenager took me to Gabrieau's Bistro for some GOOD food...highly recommend the ciabatta melts. We did some shopping after that at the mall, and then came home.

The highlight came when my brother called, actually on my birthday! His usual pattern is to call me either the day before or the day after, or not at all. This year he got it right, and was very nice on the phone...I was happy. It might seem like a little thing, but to me it is a big thing. My brother only calls me once or twice a year, and one of those is the birthday call. And I only have one brother.

So my sister called too, and while she didn't have much time to chat, she did have good news...she passed her courses for her Paramedic Level 1 courses and is now a qualified Paramedic...Whoo hoo! I'm so proud of her. She has two toddlers at home and is pregnant with her third and still managed to pull this off. What a gal.

And my friend Susan called, and we both talked about how lonesome and boring our lives are, except for the snow and out lack of money...I try not to think about how sad that is. But I was very glad to her from her and have someone to commiserate with! the odd thing is, she too lived in the void here in Port Hawkesbury at one point in her life!

Of course my mother called too, and we chatted. I spoke for about 10 seconds to my dad. Sometimes he is a regular chatty cathy while other times he barely walks by the phone while speaking, ha ha. I guess he has to be in the mood!

No snow here in Cape Breton...good thing.

Happy Birthday to me! 37 is a curious age...not quite 40, but sliding down from 30...

I am off work today, and look forward to having some time with the resident teenager.

most to say later...


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

Gadzooks! How can it be Thursday already? I haven't written since Sunday. Well, here's the abbreviated version...no new snow, lots of rain.

I've shopped my butt off for Christmas sponsorship kids this month and loved every minute of it. 16 kids, all with other people's money...awesome! I just love the feeling I get when I get to be Santa and drop the presents off...two more stops tomorrow and I'm done...then I have to focus on my stuff.

So I had the bright idea to "make" most of my Christmas presents this year...yahoo...I'm so creative...except now I have to actually get it done. I did manage to get most things done for the kidlets, aka my neice and two nephews...I made them cd's and tapes of me reading stories to them, and little aprons for in the kitchen. But then there is the barbie doll clothes I was supposed to make for my neice...still in pieces on the floor of my dining room...and there is the cookbook for my daughter, still half typed in my computer...and the scrapbook of our trip to Europe for my daughter...only 3 pages done...and all the mittens for my neice I promised her...sigh...I'm tired just thinking about it. Whose bright idear was this anyhow?

So now I feel like I have to go buy something to put with the cd/tape combo for my neice as she got her apron months ago, and the barbie clothes and mittens just ain't gonna happen in time. Rats, there goes my plan to make all my gifts.

It's my dad's 69th birthday today. Holy cow...when did my dad get so old? And then I remember that tomorrow is my birthday...37 years old...even though the sassy ladies at work kept trying to make me out to be 40!!! Perish the thought...I don't think I can handle being 40 and alone...I will have to find someone by then.

Ok, that is depressing enough...tomorrow will be a great day. My daughter is taking me out to a fancy restaurant for an early supper in Antigonish...Gabrieau's Bistro...yumm! And tonight, a friend dropped by with a gift bag for my birthday...
knowing how much I just LOVE snow...she bought me a teddy bear that sings "Let it Snow"...my friends are sadistic, and out to get me...she said she knew I would love it as soon as she saw it. It will sit on my desk when I get back to work on Monday....it will balance off the sign on my door that says "Snow makes me cranky, what do YOU want?" which was better than the first draft..."snow makes me cranky - f*** off". but I got in trouble at work for cursing about the snow in the hallway, so scratched that.

don't forget to check out my friend Shane's blog...he has been BUSY this week!


Hairy Hoser

It is snowing out again....

But not to worry, I have my trusty snow shoveller, Brad.

The great tree excursion of 2003 is over, we've scored a tree. It looks great and now that it and the house is decorated, the work is done...NOT! I still have baking to do - hope the hell it doesn't turn out like last time; and more presents to wrap and one more to shop for...she really has me puzzled and she reads so much meaning into things, I have to be SURE with her gift :-)

The staff Christmas party was on Friday and Santa (yours truly) was a hit. I was also on call and couldn't drink, so Santa was a little less jolly than he could have been. However, he did trip over the mike of the lead singer in the band we hired and sent it rocketing into the guy's head as he was singing...OOOPS! He just kept on singing...what a professional! The band was very good, and at the end, my friend Rob sang a couple of songs too.

I tried to get everyone to sit on Santa's knee, but not everyone was so keen on that...heh heh...if you want to see a pic of Santa...just check out my online photo album here:

Jude's Photo Albums

Well, I have to go pick up the resident teenager who was supposed to be drinking responsibly last night. Good time to sing Christmas carols in her ear to see if it hurts...heh heh

wahhh, my guy was voted off survivor tonight! What a jerk he turned out to be anyhow. "Lil, I hope you can live with yourself. You broke our alliance" he says as he just finished writing her name down...duh. Well, there goes another 10 bucks down the drain. Nothing like losing twice...just don't think I'm paying twice!

I saw someone elses life flash before them today as they cut off two lanes of traffic that had an 18 wheeler and a pick-up truck in them in order to make a left turn...This guy pulled out in front of this traffic from a parking lot and crossed both lanes, pulling into the lane ahead of me...I damn near crapped myself. If he had stalled...it would have been over for a few of us tangled up in his mess. I can't think of anything else that peeves me more than irresponsible driving! And now that I have been living in small town Cape Breton for going on 2 years now, I can't believe what I see. I felt safer driving on the 401 in Ontario than I do here, if you can believe that. I have never seen such driving. Its like they handed out driver's licenses at Wal-mart to the first 200 shoppers. I was beginning to question my own recollection of the rules of the road, until I looked them up and saw that, yes...you do all stop when the traffic lights are out and proceed as a four way stop....not here in Port Hawkesbury though...they sail right through....its a wonder no one is killed here.

Still no new snow, and I hear rain is on the way...I can only hope. Although I now have a built in weekday shoveller...the b/f of the resident teenager spends the night in the guest room after he gets off work at 3am (he has to be at college across the street at 7:30am and lives a 2 hour walk away and can't get a ride at 3am). He has offered to shovel any and all snow that falls this winter when he can. Awwwww...what a sweetie. And yes, he is sleeping in the guest room...there are no conjugal visits and I know this because of the beaded curtain on the door of resident teenager that hangs in front of wooden door...built in door CLACKER and mother is a light sleeper

Workplace Christmas party tomorrow night...good thing I am on call or I might get intoxicated and make an ass of myself...more to come

a good day...I was an agent of change, a presenter, a mom, and a good friend today. I don't think I get enough days like this one, so I'm going to savour it well. All I can say is that for today, opening my mouth was a good thing. This is not always the case. :-)

Good news on the snow/ice in the driveway - the b/f of the resident teen managed to hack and chop it all out and I can park in the driveway again...whoo hoo!!! Bad news is, when I got home, I realized that the garbage truck did not notice my white bag of garbage on the snow/ice pile in the driveway and it was still there when I got home, much to the delight of the crows who decided it was snacktime...bad crows!!!

Got the bank card back again this morning, and had it replaced with a brand new one. When they went to fetch mine, there were what looked like 6 or 7 others in her hand from the machine...aha...I was not the only one who was pissed last night...

I explained to the resident teenager what a blog was, and since she aspires to be a journalist someday, she is interested in beginning her own...stay tuned for a site addy.

another fine day in my life. I got the resident teen to drop me off to do some shopping while she took the car and friend to do her own shopping. call me when you need a drive home, says she. I begin at the drug store, get the required stocking stuffers and move on to deposit my cheque next door at the bank. in goes the cheque, out comes the money...or at least that's how its supposed to work...just before my money comes out...the machine goes blank, and shuts down. with my card. with my money. and with me not having really begun the night's shopfest. I pound, kick and scream, to no avail. It doesn't care. It has my card and money and is laughing at me. Then the machine reboots and tells me to "please insert your card". Another string of expletives. I call the posted number, and get mr puberty on the phone who tells me...wow, I never heard of that before...you mean, like, your card didn't come out?

yeah, whatever, piss off is what is in my mind. Then he tells me he can't do anything about it, go see the bank in the morning (the bank machine is right on the bank property). Fine, but that doesn't help me now, and please tell me no one else can get my money spit out at them when they use the machine. No, no, of course not. Yeah, right, buddy. we'll see.

So then I phone resident teenager to pick me up. Her phone isn't working. So I phone the friend. Her phone is not with her. So I phone the friend's parents...yes, the girls were here but are gone now. Gee, thanks. Now I have to walk home...and I am not dressed for it. So graciously, friend's-mother's-boyfriend came over and took me home.

I get home and the phone rings...it is the resident teenager calling from my friend's cell phone...hey, do you need a ride home? piss off is what is in my mind.

but I did get some nice stocking stuffers at the drug store...

so I tried to clear the snow. it didn't go well. my yard is now littered with various and assorted snow clearing paraphenelia...I have a huge chunk of ice at the end of my driveway that I cannot clear. I have tried salt, chopping, and swearing. So I went to the municipal offices and lodged a complaint about the snowplow driver. my neighbor across the street has only a little wrinkle in his driveway...I have a 3 foot blob. its not what you know but who you know. So the snowclearing dispatched called me back at noon, but I was out. I hope they call again, I have a few words to share.

there is slush and water everywhere, so I ended up walking to work in this slop and because I am too stubborn to buy new winter boots, I wore my sneakers and my feet of course, got soaked, along with my pantlegs. snowclearing the sidewalks is apparently a foreign concept in this little town. We'll do it when we get around to it, and if we don't, so what. And sometimes we will even place a huge pile of snow in the middle of the sidewalk (last year).

My friend Shane apparently hates snowballs...especially the e-mail ones...so do I. I've already been sent two, even though most people know not to send that crap to me. Its like all those friendship day things. I mean, come one, it has been national friendship day for the last 7 years...give it a rest already. I don't want to see any twinkling angels, cherubs, fuzzy bears, blah, blah, blah. If I am your friend, fine. Let's leave it at that. That goes for the good luck leprechauns, blue men matras, sob stories about sick children, and all that other forward crap too. The only thing I want to see from my friends besides a pleasant e-mail is a funny joke or picture. I don't care if something bad will happen to me in 7 days...

ok, enough ranting...I'm going to see whats on the boob tube...

ok, Monday morning. We all hate it. try having the student loan people call you at 8:30am on the first morning you have off in weeks. that's a drag. I don't know who else is going through student loan hell, but I sure am. They want my blood. They call and threaten me weekly, and crying on them doesn't help...then they yell at me "ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN TO ME!!!" - no, says I, and hang up.

I feel like picketing outside the student awards office - DON'T GO FOR STUDENT LOANS! IT IS HELL!!! Sure, it got me out of the pinch I was in when I was a student, but I would trade it all back to not have them on my ass. What they don't realize is that not everyone graduates with an engineering degree and makes $100k the first year. Some actually get their degree to make a difference in the world and are not financially rewarded for that at $34K a year. I think they target Arts grads, as they know darn well we don't make enough to make all the payments.

what to do, what to do.

and the snow...there is more of course, but it could have been worse...got mostly rain after the first 6 inches, so now I just have frozen lead to move from my driveway. I'll likely break all four shovels, including my new scoop. Now that I AM UP I might as well go give it a shot. got some reserve anger now after talking to the student loan thugs, so lets feel the burn!

Christmas baking.

35 cookies go into the oven. 10 survived. what happened?

upon taking the lightly browned shortbreads out of the oven, the large cookie sheet hooked in the top wall of the oven and dumped the pan...only 10 made it out alive. shortbread is very crumbly...and burns FAST on the element. Now my nice Christmas baking smell has gone to BURNT cookie smell. bah humbug.

I wish it was June.

ok, now I have figured out the time thing, and don't have to change the time each time I post. time zone for this blog is Atlantic Standard Time, JICYI.

time to get back to the cookies.

my friend Shane has now published a blog...take a look...he can be more cynical than I can...whoo hoo!

Hairy Hoser

Saturday morning...phone call at 7am from my only sister who lives in northern BC - "I can't sleep. wanna play cards". mphmmhmmpphhh...huh?

so I got up, as I always do for my nocturnal baby sister, and off we go to Yahoo games where she kicks my butt. 30 minutes later, out rises the resident teenager, getting ready for work. Then begin the "needs". I need breakfast, I need a drive to work. This from the teenager who three weeks ago, was looking for her own apartment. Get something at work, I say (A & W) if you are too lazy to make your own breakfast. We have gone way past where I suggest what she could have as it is the endless game of "I don't want that. you know I don't like that, whah, whah , whah". Then comes time to go shovel the snow that fell last night...and this charming child says to her mother "you shovel it, its your car". Steam rises, deep breath...whooah...I'm sorry dear, then mother does not feel like driving you to work. Get your thumb ready.

Hiss. Let me show you how to use the new scoop mother bought two days ago. hiss. "I don't have anything to wear". deep breath. I show her the windpants I bought for her last year at Wal-mart to do this very task. Its no wonder she doesn't remember them. She only shovelled once or twice. poor thing. Here you go, dear. Face as long as the day is short...but she knows by now that mother does indeed own the car, and without it, she will find herself standing on the side of the road with her thumb while being engulfed in slush from the dozens of trucks on the highway.

Resident teen manages to clean off the car in the time that I clear the driveway. Not too bad today, better than two days ago, but I'm no fool...more to come tonight. Now the scoop develops an attitude. it was an expensive one with an adjustable handle...too bad it adjusts when it feels like it and not when I want it to. then out it pops...mother has a tantrum in the driveway and the scoop goes flying. Resident teen thought she was borrowing the car to drive to work...mother informs her NOT so because I have to take the scoop back to crappy tire.

and we're off.

I did get the scoop exchanged for one that has a stationary handle. Good. bring on the snow.

ok, enough with the snow already...I am selling my car. Has anyone seen the weather channel tonight? There is a massive monster storm coming to get me. (well, its actually coming to get a lot of people, but lets not split snow shovels)

Why am I living here in snow country? I thought it would be nice to live closer to family again...is it my fault they bred in snow country? In any case, I fear it will be a long and trying winter. folks at work have learned this about me already...I have a sign on my door that says "snow makes me cranky. what do you want?" I had a few other comments to add there as well, but it is a workplace, after all. Lets save that for my front door. it can go right next to the one telling religious peddlers not to knock on my door.

msn messenger is great...my mother and her friend have decided to torture me by changing their msn ids to "I love snow" and "'tis snowing". as if I didn't think about snow enough.

off to bed to the sound of the plow driver plotting against me...

this is one of my favorite forums...lots to talk about here!
Hip Forums

good morning. my hand is in cramps and sore from all the shovelling I did last night. luckily there is nothing new, or I don't think I could go out today. I hear rain is on the way...not too soon.
got the day off, whooo hooo! but work that didn't get done yesterday because of weather now has me worried that I should get in there today. booooo.
off to the next town later this morning to see the doc. that's always fun...hope there isn't a long wait. I am too tired to even write much this morning. yawn!

its late, and I have just created my first ever blog. can I just say that I hate winter already and it is not even here yet (although the snowdrift in my driveway would suggest otherwise). All I know is my shoulder is hurting like I've been sqeezed by a sumo wrestler, and there is still snow to be shovelled. that's it, todays entry is pitiful. I promise to get better!