Who's passing who?

I often wonder if life is passing me by, or if I am passing on life.

I feel like I'm getting too comfortable here, that if I don't soon make a move, I will never find my way out of the country. Why though? what drives me? Every now and again there is a scene or a line in a movie or book or song that inspires me to get moving, get going, live your life! Then tomorrow comes, and I'm too tired to do much of anything, or too afraid of what I might find. What if I sell everything and travel, only to find that I really don't like it much anymore and would rather be home? What if my body conks out just after I leave? What if I meet someone just before I leave this place, but after its too late to stay.

What if, what if, what if...what a cop-out. I have to get out there and GRAB life by the horns and get busy...cause it certainly ain't happening here. But then I think about things that keep me here, like friends and a comfortable home...what if I don't find that elsewhere and lose it by leaving here. How do you know? Why is this decision harder to make than any other I have ever made? Is it because I have made decisions before that were not the smartest, and I paid for them for years (aka MARRIAGE) or just plain cowardice? Not that something wonderful didn't spawn out of the misery that was my marriage - my beautiful daughter, but I think wilting there, in that small town all those years certainly left its mark on me. I should have left years before I did, before it got nasty and fulfilled my dreams earlier.

So has that permanently crippled me from making a decision? I did finally leave and things only got better, so I know positive things can come from big decisions. All I do know is that I have gotten too many speeding tickets...