Have a nice TRIP, see you next FALL

Anyone who knows me knows how clumsy I am. I have more scar tissue on my knees than anyone I know...and I am 38. And today I tripped and fell yet again. drunk again Only no damage to the body, just the salt. I tripped coming into the house from the bbq outside, spilling the entire contents of the salt shaker. Does that mean I have to throw it over my shoulder to repel bad luck? Whatever. Here are a few of my notorious falls, ending with my most embarrassing to keep you interested.

1. falling last autumn outside the courthouse after testifying. Tripped over a grass tuft growing up between the sidewalk (it was really overgrown!) and shredding my left calf and knee, my right knee, my elbows and my hands. The left calf was the worst and I have a huge scar speckling my left leg, about 5 inches or bigger. Its not deep, just huge. It ws the day before I was flying out to BC to see my sister and her family...scared the hell out of the little ones I reckon.
2. 5 months pregnant, up in the night for a craving and when climbing back into bed, I stepped on the edge of the bed, which was actually the edge of the blankets and gave myself the worst carpet/blanket burn I ever had.
3. fell taking out the garbage here last summer. Was wearing a long skirt, had both hands full and stepped into the hem walking down the steps. Another nasty scrape on the knee...thankfully I landed on the garbage so no concussion, but blood on my skirt so had to go back and change and try again.
4. running down over the hill from my grandmother's house to my best cousin's, G. Flat out, of course, as children know only one speed. Of course, on the east coast, most rocks are covered in lichens and moss...SKIDDED and tumbled all the way down the hill and cut open my knee.
5. 9 months pregnant. Went to let one of the cats in and the wind took the door, flinging me far out onto the concrete step, down on my knees. Husband yelled, and I was sent to my room.
6. Up on a ladder, slipped and fell, injuring my ankle and my pride. We were building our cabin, and I earned myself 2 weeks on crutches.
7. Walking home drunk from the bar one night as a youth, we had spent our cab fare on liquor, so had to walk for about an hour. I thought I was cool in my spandex pants and leather jacket, drop-kicked my friend and sprained my ankle, and fell...flat on my face, scraping both elbows. Earned two weeks on crutches then too.
8. The piece de resistance. While backpacking in the UK in 2001, I was carrying around my 50lb pack all day as I was flying out of London that night and didn't want to store it in a locker. Watched the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. Then promptly tripped on the curb in the cobblestone and fell FLAT ON MY FACE. Of course, the 50lb pack didn't help and smashed into the back of my head, pinning me to that lovely cobblestone. I scraped both my knees, my elbows, my hands, and my forehead. Oh, and I tore one of my two pairs of pants. Just great. Thankfully some foreign tourist rolled me over and helped me up while the locals snapped photos of me, laughing (miserable feckers). They probably thought it was just another Irish gal, drunk again. I have a bit of a Newfie accent at times...

So there you have it. My life measured out in trips and fumbles. Have a laugh, I did, when the bleeding stopped...