Chillin' With Dick on New Year's Eve

I haven't seen any sign of Dick yet, but his annual New Year's Rockin Eve is on, and the music hasn't been terrible...there is more yet to come...earlier I watched Charlie Brown's New Year's Eve...poor fella missed out on the little red haired girl...again.

so there I was, on the sofa, watching Dick, having scored some milk and home made fudge (S.'s recipe)and when I pulled in the coffee table a little closer, my glass of milk tipped over. The whole glass. It was in a frosty Coca Cola glass, with a narrow bottom. Dammit. What a fucking mess. There was milk everywhere, and it seemed like a gallon or more had spilled. It spilled on my laptop, the table, my plate, the fudge container, my pants, shirt, socks, my blanket, the sofa, holy shit it was everwhere, dripping. Thankfully it only spilled on the bottom corner of my laptop, where there aren't any buttons or openings...phew. I couldn't handle sending it off again, lol. My clothes was that wet, I was dripping, so not wanting to drip milk all over the place to change, I stripped right there in the living room, went back to change and brought a bucket of water into the living room to clean up.

Having learned my lesson, I got yet another frosted glass, this time a sturdy blue glass mug. My friend S. (who's fudge recipe I had used) gave them to me years ago. I put it on a table that I do not intend on moving anywhere soon, and sat next to it. And ate my damn fudge.

It's 9:10pm here in the NWT, and the ball drops in Times Square in less than an hour. There are locals sending up fireworks somewhere, but I can't see them from where I am. I can hear them and they are tripping out Stormy, heh heh...Happy New Year!

Revenge on Telemaketers

Came across this link today and it cracked me up...I haven't had a telemarketer call me here yet, but I sure as hell have had my share of them. I know they're only out there trying to make money, but dammit they are annoying...the telemarketer in this clip really got pranked...lol

Canasta Has Gone To The Whores

I have recently begun playing canasta at Yahoo Games. I've been playing one game or another for years at Yahoo, and this past fall, I got into canasta after a friend of mine (Hi L.) sparked my interest. While she and I have not played yet, I have been practicing with my sister, and with others in the games rooms. They are usually total strangers, and most of the time, have very little to say. I don't understand why they bother going to a designated social room and then say absolutely nothing, but whatever. I get bored with them easy and will often go to another room when someone doesn't chat. Occasionally I play with an asshole who likes to talk about themselves in grandiose ways, or simply likes to insult me. Today I got a real winner...this is the jist of our short conversation...
Me: Hi
Her: Hello
Me: How is your Christmas going?
Her: I didn't get the 15 inch dildo I asked for.

WTF???
It went downhill from there...she kept talking about sex, peanut butter in her snatch and letting the dog lick it out, jamming her dildo up her ass, how many lovers that can't fill her snatch, you name it. What in the hell for, I do not fucking know. She then began calling me a bitch. Meantime, I said very little other than to tell her that she was being crude. She continued to insult me, called me a stupid player, a whore, and a few other choice words. And then she bragged about being the best player on there. Why does someone like this even go to a social room. Probably because she enjoys baiting people. I again said very little other than to tell her I thought she led a very unsatisfying life. We finished the game and I left.

I assumed this person was female because of her icon, but you can change it at anytime, so I suspect it was likely a horny 14 year old boy getting his rocks off by talking dirty. Who the hell knows. All I know was I went in looking for a friendly game of canasta...

Chores For A Lazy Ass

I hate doing chores, housework, that kind of thing. Not many do enjoy it. The one thing I usually try not to put off too long because it isn't fair to the kitties, but I DESPISE changing the cat litter. It only takes a few minutes, but it is NASTY. I can't imagine squatting in that every day like they do. Ick. And I often procrastinate in doing chores because I dislike them intensely. But today I whizzed through in just 30 minutes. And it didn't kill me. The cat litter is done, the pet food area is cleaned (everyone knows how nasty that gets quickly) did all the dishes, and just a general tidy up of the living area. Now I can be lazy again for a few days...the rewards are worth it though.

I do love the resident felines though, and Stormy is keeping a close watch on his new environment...likely wondering where in the hell has she dragged us now. And they seem happy here in the trailer. He sits in the front living room window (at the end of the trailer, you know how the older ones all have the big ass window at the end of the trailer) and waits for me to come home. I can see him jump down off the window as I pull in the driveway. Then he is at the door to greet me, like any dog. Via is more subtle. She just hangs out on the sofa's back edge, waiting for me to greet her, on her terms, lol. She knows she'll get her snuggle time later...

So the chores are done, but I still have some unpacking to do. How long shall I procrastinate with that...it's easier to do with that because unpacked boxes hurt no one...hmmmm...

Merry Christmas Everyone

Well, here we are, moments before Christmas Day. No sign of Santa yet, but I'm sure he will be by soon enough. I was out playing board games (Cranium) with some friends, and they got a call, so the game was a draw. We were in the final round too, in the Cranium. Our group consisted of two nurses and a spouse, two RCMP members, the receptionist and her spouse, and myself (social worker). T'was a fun time until the nurses and RCMP had to go. Even then, I was content to sit and chat with the spouse of one of the nurses who does development work in third world countries. We had a few stories in common, and talk of travel is usually pretty interesting anyhow.

So I was able to get home before midnight tonight. I have to get up and throw the turkey in tomorrow morning, but plan on staying up a while longer tonight. Not much other than the turkey to get up for, and dinner is not until 2 or 3 tomorrow afternoon. I will get up with the kitties so they can have their treats, lol.

I hope that everyone has someone to be with on Christmas Day, be it in person or on the phone. I'll be on webcam with a few tomorrow, so that will be nice...hope the connection is smooth.

now it's back to my little brat pack reunion movie marathon...have watched St. Elmo's Fire, and am just finishing up with The Breakfast Club. I have Pretty In Pink, Less Than Zero, For Keeps, and others yet to go through. The Outsiders is one of my favorites, but not as much as The Breakfast Club. However, I think I will pull out Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Not quite Brat Pack, but still a good ensemble cast, with some hilarious parts...my favorites involve Sean Penn ordering Pizza from class, and Judge Reinhold's character's masturbation scene, heh heh...oh, the reunion is sweet...

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Now THIS is interesting...

(c) http://www.atento.ru/pornoname/

Retrospective of My 30's

Today I turned 40...where has the last decade gone and what have I accomplished? What have I done? Where have I been, and what have I been up to? I asked myself that today and thought I it was a good inspiration for a post...let's look back on the past 10 years, in no particular order...

• I graduated from university, having started at age 29via distance education; graduated with a BA in Sociology, with and option in Legal Studies and Criminology (basically a double major) in 1999; graduated with a second BA in 2001, this time in Social Development Studies; graduated a THIRD time in 2002 with a Bachelor of Social Work (and all the related debt with student loans!)
• I divorced my husband of 14 years in 2000. For someone who really didn't want to get married in the first place, I lasted a long time, but it was over years before, we just didn't get around to dealing with it. I regained my freedom with that move, and have never regretted it.
• I began my world travelling. I had only been a mental traveller for many years, and insanely jealous of those who had been all over. Finally in 2001 I took the leap and jetted off to Ireland and England for 3 weeks. Since that time I returned to Europe with my daughter in 2002 to visit England, Italy, France and Belgium. Next fall is a trip to Africa if all goes well.
• I bought my first new car this year, at the age of 39. My first car ever was in 1984 when my dad bought me a 1976 Mercury Comet, and I paid him in installments. Then in 1998 I bought a 1987 Toyota Camry, writing that off in 2000. I leased an Echo for 4 years, and turned it in this year when I bought my current car, a Toyota Corolla SE.
• I learned to kayak, took a whitewater canoeing course, and bought a bicycle. I am not nearly as active as I would prefer, but at least it was a start!
• My daughter graduated in 2004 from high school with honors (93% average). While this is her accomplishment, I strongly believe that children who succeed in this way owe a great deal to their parents!!! T'was I that sat with her night after night, helping with homework, wanting to burn the books. Together we made it!
• I drove across the country in 1998 for my sister's wedding. I had my 12 year old daughter with me, but she could hardly assist with driving, so I drove all 5500 kms of it, in 5 days!
• I was on CBC television...twice! Once for a Land and Sea episode, and once for the news. I can't even recall how many times I was on the radio during the same few years...too many to count. I even got paid for a commentary I wrote for CBC - $100!
• I moved 7 times in 10 years. Two places in Waterloo, then off to Port Hawkesbury(2 places), then West Bay Road, then Whitehorse, then here.
• I saw the death of more people in my extended family than I care to remember. Cancer for nearly every one of them.
• I became an auntie for the first time! My brother was the first one to make that happen for me. I had several neices/nephews previously through my former marriage, but this was my first blood relation. She was born in 1999. My sister quickly caught up, having children in 2000, 2002, and 2004.
• I had my first operation ever. Simple stuff, just a gall bladder.
• I began blogging in 2003 and have enjoyed it ever since!

I may add to this as my mind recalls other things, but that's all I can come up with for now...if anyone remembers something interesting, please leave a comment and I can add it. Remember, I blog just as much for me, as I do for my readers! It has become a great way to journal about my life so I won't forget it...mind is slippery these days, particularly now that I am "old" in the words of my beloved brother...

Holy Shit, I'm Turning 40.

Tomorrow is my 40th birthday...ugh. 40 and alone in the frozen north. I try not to dwell on that particular unresolved portion of my life.

I am alive, fairly well, I have a good job, with good pay, a warm trailer to live in, and two fuzzy kitties to torment. What else could I want? Beer. Tomorrow night, on my birthday, even though it is a Tuesday, I am having a few beers. I hope to get in a few card games with my sister tomorrow night if she isn't working.

I don't think I am going to participate in turning 40 and will remain 39 and holding. My mother always said I was a rebel. If anything, I am following Neil's advice...better to burn out than to rust.

Balling My Eyes Out

Does anyone else cry while watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition...it gets me every time, but it's that good kind of crying...just happy to see someone else really happy...I also love the houses they build.

I'm Not Dead, Yet

I have been neglecting this blog for several days...I'm just busy unpacking and settling into both my new job and new home. Bear with me, or not. Your choice. I will return in full humour soon! Part of the problem is that I don't have internet at home until tomorrow, and that is where my greatest inspiration comes from...until then...

Early Holiday Funny

This one cracks me up each time someone sends it to me...enjoy!

Hack, Cough, Snort

I hate being sick. Perfect timing too, my first day on the job was today and I was too sick to stay. Rather, it was encouraged that I go home to recoup (and not spread germs – I agree!) so I came home. Did I mention that I hate being sick? At least I have cable, but it sure would be nice to have net access at home too, but I am lucky to have a bed at all, with accommodations being so scarce here in the hamlet.

Good thing I stocked up on cold meds…too bad they don’t seem to be working at all. I haven’t tried the Neo Citran yet though, so perhaps that is next. I’ve already been through some Buckley’s caplets, and some Life Brand Cold and Flu. I’ve lost count of the Halls cough drops…hack, cough, hack.

At least the kitties are enjoying having me loll about here in the motel room. I wish I could control the heat though, as I have to continuously open and close the window to do so, and at –25C, it doesn’t take long to cool off, but then the furnace cuts in and it is sweltering. There doesn’t seem to be a thermostat in sight, so who knows where the actual control is.

I would like to have attended the candlelight vigil this afternoon in the Band Council chambers, however I don’t think they would appreciate the coughing and hacking, infecting everyone with my germs, particularly when I might be one of only two white folks there. That’s all I need for a first impression – white social worker infects entire band council with outside germs…it might be too late for some anyhow, since I was introduced around today, and shook a lot of hands. I tried not to cough into my shaking hand, but it isn’t always easy when one is racked with spasms of coughing. Ick.

Silver lining – making some real progress on the afghan I’m making as a wedding preset for my brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law. I hope I don’t run out of yarn, as there is not much to do about this, although I could go to Hay River, an hour and a half away. I might be going on the weekend if my cold has cleared some by then, as I need to pick up a gift of about $25 for the staff Christmas party, and I don’t have a thing here to use. I may just do a gift bag of goodies, as I know no-one really.

ok, back to the coughing and hacking.

Irish Funnies

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy,
looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,
his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean,
"He couldn't do that to you,
he must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,
and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself,
didn't you have something in your hand?"
That I did," said Paddy.
"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of
beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
***********************************************************************************
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink
is driving home from the city one night and,
of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver,
where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course,"
slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite
a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and
folding his arms across his chest,
"that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
*********************************************************************************
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus
is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat
of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.
Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact,
he got out three times to pee."

Stuff That Corolla

Today is packing day...I have a lot of STUFF to try to cram into my Corolla. It shall take the efforts of an expert packer to get it all in, but once it is, the car will be good and solid on the road, lol. I leave tomorrow morning for my new job, so have been busy, busy, busy this week, in preparation for living in a tiny town with little services/shopping. I think I have covered all the bases, so now lets see if I can get it all into my car...I don't know when I'll be able to post again as I don't know if the hotel will have internet...

Technical Difficulties in the North

5:00pm I left Yellowknife this morning on a First Air flight bound for Whitehorse, via Fort Simpson. We got as far as Fort Simpson…and then there was a problem with the plane. Apparently difficulties with the propeller brakes…rather they find out down here on the ground than in the air I guess!

So here I sit in the tiny airport of Fort Simpson, along with about a dozen or so other stranded travellers, awaiting news for the continuation of the flight. There has been word that they have to get help from Yellowknife, but they didn’t specify just how or what. Hmmm…we shall see what comes of it. Good thing I was packed for distance travel. I have my laptop and a supply of movies, along with a couple of novels and a bag full of yarn for my current crochet project. We were fed a light lunch on the plane, so hunger is staved off for now, and should I get snackish, I do have a few things in my bag.

The flight attendant (garbed in flight suit, turtleneck and arctic parka) came in and asked if anyone wanted to get their laptop off the plane, since it was cooling off considerably while they waited for repairs…all but two hands went up…so as I look about the airport (it’s small, so I can see ALL of the waiting area from just about any position) there are four of us on our laptops, either watching movies or playing games.

I tried to give A. a call to let her know not to go to the airport until she heard from be, and thought it would just be an automated operator, so I would just leave her collect call message stating instead of my name “plane late, will call” but I actually got a real live operator who proceeded to inform me that cell phones cannot accept a collect call anyhow…rats. So I called my mother collect and had her call my daughter’s boyfriend, who can call A. when she gets off work at 2pm and let her know that I will call her for the ride. Otherwise she would be waiting around for hours…we’re already more than 2 hours delayed!

sigh…the joys of northern travel…a couple of women are playing luggage roller, where they sit on the luggage rollers (like at the beer store) and shove one another across them to see how far they can send them. I would have taken a photo but was not near my camera when they were at it, darnit.

update 5:50pm NWT time – we have been informed that they sent another plane out from Yellowknife and it should arrive momentarily. They need a few minutes to transfer over our luggage and then we will be able to board and shall be on our way. Yahooo! I think I just heard our plane arrive!!! Time to pack up this stuff and get ON THE WAY!

8:53pm and I’m here at A.’s, hanging out and playing a borrowed friend’s Nintendo Wii…I think I know what I want Santa to bring me…I kicked ass at bowling (well, better than these two here…lol). The flight arrived about 6:05pm, so we were about 3.5 hours behind schedule, but whatever. I got here in one piece and the plane didn’t break. Nice.

Major Gross Out

I've been addicted to Hot Rods for years now, and try to control myself. However I don't think it will be a problem anymore. I bought two packages yesterday at the local Co-op and ate one yesterday. I just opened the second package and went to take out one and it had a bite out of it. Not just a short one, but a bite out of it. So I took out the rest of them and 3 of them had bites out of them. Ewwwww. Major gross out...in the words of my friend L., I am OVER Hot Rods.

Chicken Hunt

I've been craving roasted chicken since my arrival here in Yellowknife and can't seem to find anyone who offers a roast chicken dinner. Chicken breast, chicken wings, but no roast chicken. So then I thought I would try to get one of those grocery store roasted chickens - they are so yummy! But then I couldn't find the grocery store that I thought was across the street, so had to wait until my friend K. took me there last night and wouldn't you know it, they were sold out and the next batch was not coming out for at least 20 more minutes...dammit. So I am still on the hunt for some roasted chicken!!!

I have however had some TASTY beef steak, grade AAA Alberta beef, which is just awesome!

Yum. Now I'm hungry.

Newfoundland Cruise

my ma sent me this a couple of days ago...how do I book?

Blogger Woes

I tried to access blogger for the past couple of days but it was down, apparently. Bah!

I'm at yet another hotel here in Yellowknife, but the internet is awesome...wireless and FAST.

Groovy.

Intervention Perhaps???

While Coors Light is my second favorite beer (behind Keith's Light) I don't know that I could ever drink THIS much beer!!!

TGIF

I am tired after a long week of packing, moving, travelling, training, shopping, and just plain busyness! (is that even a word?). Thank goodness it's Friday and I can sleep in a little tomorrow, though we are heading out to a craft sale tomorrow sharply at 10am...though anyone who knows me will know that I'm rarely in bed past 8am even on the weekends...

Sunday will be a day of total rest for me as I am utterly exhausted. I should be in bed now, but toss and turn if I don't unwind first. My roomie has gone to bed some time ago with some T-3s for her bad back, so it's just me up, bumping around the suite and listening to Q107 on satellite. Not much else to chat about, so I am just going to post yet another cat photo, if for no other reason than to break up all this print!

This is Stormy with his teddy bear. He is so funny with it...when I come home from work, he has often dragged it up on top of my blanket on the sofa, or up onto my bed. But yet if I place it anywhere else but there or on the floor, he will go and get it. We've played that game several times. I'll place it up on the bookshelf, or counter and he can't stand it. He will go immediately and knock it to the floor. What a weirdo...

How Hot Is Hell?

Because it sure feels like it here. Either that or there is an organic reason why I am so damn hot all the time. You would think that coming to the northern regions of Canada that I would finally have the opportunity to COOL OFF. You would be wrong.

Sure, its frosty outside but I can't seem to cool off inside. I'm in a hotel for the next several weeks (various ones) and this particular one is like an oven. I have the heat turned off since my arrival and the window open and it is still stifling in here. And I went to training today for my new job and it was stifling there. I may have to resort to wearing shorts...pant, pant, pant

Stupid Student Loan People

7:00am this morning the phone rings...it's one of my student loan folks who call every three months (looking to increase my payments) so she got a very cranky, sleepy person at this end. Bitch. I had set my alarm for 8am as I needed all the sleep I could get before the movers come today and I was up so late last night preparing. It never fails. If it isn't my sister calling me late at night on the rare night I go to bed early, it is these rotten whorebags. Typically the call on Saturday mornings, but today was a surprise. What gets me is they KNOW where I live but for some reason cannot put that together with a DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.

Rotten whorebags. I just like saying it.

Microsoft Has Annoying DOWN PAT!

I recently had troubles installing a Microsoft update so contacted them about it. Well they fucking pestered the HELL out of me after that, not even giving me time on my own to resolve the issue with what they sent me. Finally I had to email them back a firm (read snotty) letter to tell them to piss off. Here is a summary of their annoying as hell emails.

Oct. 16/06 6:31pm.
"Your question was successfully submitted to Microsoft. A Microsoft professional will respond to you in e-mail within 1 business day. You can also view your response on the Support site when you have signed intoPassport. Print or save this page or record your confirmation number for your reference."

October 17/06 12:12:46am
"There has been activity on the incident that you submitted. Please go to Online Assisted Support(https://support.microsoft.com/oas/default.aspx?tp=il) to check on the activity at your earliest convenience. Make sure you are signed in with the same Passport account that you used to submit the incident. "

October 17/06 12:12:56am
"I understand you are experiencing difficulties using the Windows Update site. Microsoft provides no-charge technical support for issues related to WindowsUpdate, so I have forwarded your case to a Support Professional from whom you will hear within 24 hours."

October 17/06 3:26:06am
"There has been activity on the incident that you submitted.Please go to Online Assisted Support(https://support.microsoft.com/oas/default.aspx?tp=il) to check on the activity at your earliest convenience. Make sure you are signed in with the same Passport account that you used to submit the incident. "

October 17/06 3:25:44am
"Thank you for contacting Microsoft Windows Update Support. My name is Katty andI am glad to work with you. You can contact me directly by sending an email to (bla bla bla) with the case # in the subject line."

October 17/06 3:36:03am
"Thank you for contacting Microsoft Windows Update Support. My name is Katty and I am glad to work with you. You can contact me directly by sending an email to v-30kren@mssupport.microsoft.com with the case ID in the subject line."

October 19/06 3:46:09am
"I just want to say hi and check if you've got my previous message. Please drop me a note if my last response has addressed your concern or if youneed further assistance from me. It is always my pleasure to be of assistance. For your convenience, I have included my initial response below."

October 19/06 3:46:31am

"Incident: There has been activity on the incident that you
submitted.
Please go to Online Assisted Support
(https://support.microsoft.com/oas/default.aspx?tp=il) to check on the activity
at your earliest convenience. Make sure you are signed in with the same
Passport account that you used to submit the incident. "

October 19/06 3:46:17am
"I just want to say hi and check if you've got my previous message. Best regards, Katty Ren "

October 20/06 7:54:06am
"There has been activity on the incident that you submitted. Please go to Online Assisted Support(https://support.microsoft.com/oas/default.aspx?tp=il) to check on the activity at your earliest convenience. Make sure you are signed in with the same Passport account that you used to submit the incident. "

October 20/06 7:53:01am
This is Katty from Microsoft Online Support. I am contacting you with regards to the Windows Update issue.

"I have not heard from you for a couple of days. I understand that you may need more time to work on this issue, so I will be closing this case as "Not Resolved". - Best regards, Katty Ren. "

October 22/06 9:41:46am
"There has been activity on the incident that yousubmitted.Please go to Online Assisted Support(https://support.microsoft.com/oas/default.aspx?tp=il) to check on the activity at your earliest convenience. Make sure you are signed in with the samePassport account that you used to submit the incident. "

October 22/06 9:40am
"Dear X,This is Katty from Microsoft Online Support. I am contacting you in regards tothe Windows Update case.I understand that you have been busy recently and do not have time to attend to this issue.Given this situation, I'd like to close this case as "Temporarily Archived".When you are ready to continue working on this technical issue, I am here to assist you at your convenience."

October 24/06 10:14pm
"There has been activity on the incident that yousubmitted.Please go to Online Assisted Support(https://support.microsoft.com/oas/default.aspx?tp=il) to check on the activityat your earliest convenience. Make sure you are signed in with the samePassport account that you used to submit the incident. "

WTF??? So I told Katty to fuck off and leave me alone. And they have. Thank-you.

Brain Freeze

seriously...it is chilly here tonight, -20C and I can't think of a thing to say. I think my brain is on overload with such a busy month. So here is a funny instead. Enjoy.

Things That Are Difficult To Say When Drunk

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk:
1. Specificity
2. Antidisestablishmentarianism
3. Loquacious
4. Transubstantiate

Things that are downright IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you
2. Nope, no more booze for me
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type
4. No kebab for me, thank you
5. Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. I'm not interested in fighting you
7. Thank you, but I wont make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination
8. Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street
9. You're right; I can't jump over that table.
10. Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing

Scared The Bejesus Outta Me

Last night I watched Deep Water which scared the bejesus outta me, and tonight I have chosen The Skeleton Key...I've not been a fan of horror movies as much anymore for about the past 10 years or more. One time I was addicted to them, and watched whatever came to the theatre, but my fondness for gross stuff just isn't there anymore. I do enjoy a good thriller though, and haunted house stories, particularly around Halloween...so if you hear distant screams, it's me, screaming out loud in the woods of the north...

I Won, I Won, Na Na Na Na Na Na

It would seem that our department is kind of into Halloween...sure, most places will put up a few things, put out some candy and occasionally someone will dress up. Not where I work...it got downright fierce into competitions sponsored by our social committee...best pumpkin carving, best team space decor, and the category won by yours truly - best costume! I've never won before, although I have often gotten compliments on my original/unusual costumes over the years.

This year, my agency team decided to decorate interactively...so up went the black garbage bags (so versatile, you know it) and a ton of decorations, and we got the spooky DOWN. Then came the choreography...oh yeah, they got into it! The group of 6 put together a 2 minute version of Michael's Jackson's Thriller video...it was tres cool...everyone dressed like zombies except for Michael aka Tim...quite the 'fro on the go and he could wiggle that skinny butt, as he spun to the music. So as the judges came into the team area, they all crawled out of different areas and swarmed Michael, and then he breaks out into dance with them (after throwing the babydoll in his arms over the balcony carelessly aside). After all, we have to add our flavour to it...

My costume was as the drunken homeless lady that lives at the graveyard, and official gatekeeper. I had a bit of shtick too, and I don't understand why, but the Newfoundland accent came out with it...go figure...my costume consisted of an old striped drape wrapped around me like a dress, an old jacket, a black scraggly wig, a knitted hat, gloves with the fingers cut out, and my props were a liquor bottle in a bag and an old sleeping bag. (some may remember what happened to the other one...) I had a skeleton topped staff to whack people with...I mean to accessorize.

When the judges (our agency lawyer, a probation officer, and an internal auditor) provided feed back, the reasoning for my winning was because it was original design, creative in character, and head to toe costume...and maybe a few more things...but I was stoked! I never won a contest for best costume before...awwww

So pics to follow, I forgot to get someone to take one of me with my own camera, but lots of others have some...I'll get my hands on them tomorrow.

so tonight I will hand out candy to the trick or treaters and snuggle with my black Halloween cat, Stormy...yeah, he looks fierce. I damn near dressed him up as a spider with pipe cleaner legs...that would REALLY embarrass him...

Just Because

Stop Me Before I Meme Again

borrowed from this blog...

3 smells I love:
1. natural smell of a man, no cologne
2. the ocean
3. rain

3 smells I hate:
1. curry
2. diesel fuel burning
3. cat piss

3 jobs that I have had in my life:
1. pinsetter
2. security guard, with dog
3. research assistant for a political science prof

3 movies that I could watch over and over:
1. Lonesome Dove
2. The Breakfast Club
3. The Shawshank Redemption
how can I possibly pare it down to just three...

3 fond memories:
1. camping in Cape Breton, both as a youth and and adult
2. seeing the Rolling Stones AND the Tragically Hip on the same day last year
3. hanging out at the Cramalott Inn on a warm summer night

3 jobs I dream (would love) to have:
1. novel writer
2. aid worker in Africa
3. actress

3 things I would like to do:
1. continue to travel the world
2. live abroad
3. ride an elephant

3 of my favorite food:
1. prime rib steak
2. italian pizza (good quality one, not that greasy shit you get at Pizza Hut)
3. roast chicken

3 places I would like to be in/at right now:
1. Rome
2. Thailand
3. Guatemala

3 things that make me cry:
1. good acting of an emotional part
2. stress
3. pain (nearly anyhow)

1. How often do you blog? Nearly every day, but sometimes I hit a block
2. Online Alias: lots of things, often with my real name in it, or a favorite word
3. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? Probably, if the opportunity presented itself
4. What do you do most often when you are bored? I am rarely bored, but when I wish to pass the time, I often find myself playing online games, or watching one of a movie from my collection, and will often knit while watching
5. When bathing, which do you wash first? who the hell cares?
6. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? a few times, usually when travelling.
7. What color looks best on you? clean clothes
8. What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? Keith's Light, from the east coast!
9. Do you believe in heaven and hell as real places that we go to after we die? I haven't decided completely...
10. Do you find that you have more online friends than offline friends? most of my offline friends are also online...I don't keep track of numbers, just friends.
11. What was your favorite subject in school? literature, when they picked something interesting
12. Are you a perfectionist? um, sometimes...and it annoys the hell out of me. Some people take it as being controlling.
13. Do you spend more than you can afford? my name is ***** and I am a shopaholic...
14. Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before? In the words of Neil Young, better to burn out than to rust, though I'm feeling rather rusty right now...
15. Do you consider yourself creative? I certainly can be, when in the mood.
16. Do you give yourself the credit you deserve?I don't think about it a whole lot
17. Do you donate time or money to charities? Sometimes, and I also volunteer my time when I can.
18. Have you recently done something to yourself that you’ve criticized others for doing? who writes this shit?
19. What’s on your mind right now? Whether or not this damn movie is gonna freak me out too much to sleep tonight, out here in my cabin in the woods, in the dark, alone...

Shitrats To Leave Cabin In Woods Today

Well, the day has finally arrived...early I might add. A. has decided to take her shitrats aka McGee and Irelyn to her new apartment tonight. FINALLY! They have been tearing around all day here today, including more of the SCREEK SCREEK SCREEK. I shall not miss it. Nor the mounds of cat litter required to maintain 4 indoor felines. I shall certainly not miss the carousing in the wee hours of the morning by mr McGee either. Maybe the rest of us can finally get a good night's sleep again! He was pretty good last night but the night before, up and tearing around. So now everytime I see him napping I give him a little poke...just enough to rouse him. Take THAT.





Here sits little miss bitch aka Irelyn. And yes, that is the faint sun low in the sky behind her...

And then we have McGee who always seems to have that same look of surprise on his face..."who, me?"

Be patient felines, they'll be gone before the night is through. I think Stormy will really miss McGee though, as they played together all day long...and then groomed one another...

Thinned Patience

What an interesting phrase. Thinned patience. That's exactly how I feel today. No biggies, just the usual. A.'s fucking cats kept me up again last night. Sunday can't come soon enough...sigh. And how they keep me up is just plain ANNOYING. One of their favorite things to do is to root around in the litter box for hours on end...THEN the both like to run their claws down either the wall or the side of the litter box, with a SCREEK, SCREEK, SCREEK...imagine nails on a chaulkboard and you get the picture.

So with little sleep this past few weeks, my patience was already thin. Then I decide to head out to Rotten Ronnies for a breakfast meal on my coffee break at work. Could someone please explain to me why they put someone who can't fucking speak English on the drive through. The speaker is shitty enough without putting someone you can't understand on it. I can usually understand any accent, and have lived in very multicultural settings, surrounded by different languages and never really had a problem. This morning, I don't know what the hell she was talking about. So I told her that, and proceeded past both windows and left without my order. And yes, I did say "I don't know what the hell you are saying, forget it" and left. You can take your herro, may I herp you and stuff it. I went to Tim's instead and ordered from that immigrant. At least he could speak English.

Sigh. So by noon I had a headache, variety of reasons...and left to come home, taking off sick for the afternoon. Of course there was some dumb fuck in a truck in front of me, and for whatever bizzare reason, they don't have passing lanes in the Yukon. But they do have long turn lanes on the highway, so that becomes my passing lane...ZOOOOM...smell ya later. I just didn't have the patience to drive 60kms/hr all the way home behind him. The speed limit is 90kms/hr for pete's sake.

So here I sit at home, cooling off, and trying my best not to evict A.'s two cats. It is mostly the recent addition that annoys me in the daytime with her constant hissing, growling, screaming, and shredding of flesh...feline and human. Where's that bear at again...I might have a little snack for him...

25 Signs That You're All Grown Up

I've marked an X after the ones I personally identify with, lol...

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. X
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. X
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. X
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup." X
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. X
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those fucking kids next door won't turn down the stereo. X
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. X
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. X
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. X
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. X
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. X
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." X
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. X
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt. Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the same.

BONUS: When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh S*$# What Happened??" X

On The Move Again

I'll be heading to new country next month...starting my new job on the 13th of November, in Northwest Territories. More money, less child protection investigations, and more community development opportunities. It's a small town, which is just fine by me right now. Now comes all the stuff that follows a job offer...moving, finding a house to live in, setting up services...busy, busy, busy! Follow me to the next chapter of my life...

Parenting - When Does It End?

I know, at death...I try not to think of that. What I mean is when can I relax and know that my daughter will be ok, and I don't have to worry about her anymore? Probably never. Here is an example...

My 20 year old child is driving her first car this year. On Friday we had some snow and she was driving home in it. Not a big deal...she drove on the east coast in nastier weather. She got home and told me of her ordeal...was picking up her cat at the airport that night and while driving around a large bend in the road, she was forced to stay in the tracks of others, and drive slow because it was quite slippery and (something the Yukon seems oblivious to is actually plowing their streets and highways...personally I do NOT understand their method - instead they just throw dirt on the road) a tractor trailer was coming in the opposite direction, and hogging the centre line, likely because it was difficult to tell where the hell the road was, since it wasn't plowed or sanded. What effect this had on A. was she was then forced to abandon the tracks of others and move over into freshly fallen snow...anyone could predict what happened next.

Slipping, sliding, spinning, sliding, some more spinning, and finally the tractor trailer had passed her, leaving her car a shuddering mass in its wake and A. was now facing the ditch's edge. How she did not get killed that night, I do not know. She said she spun several times around and thought for sure she was going to be smoked by the truck. When she finally got to a halt, the cat let out a tiny "mewl" and that was it.

So, knowing that she nearly met her maker on Friday night, she called from her boyfriend's place on Saturday night, earlier on to say that she was going to be coming home again tonight, but not until later. Fine. It's still snowing but she will take her time. SHE DOESN'T COME HOME. As a parent who has a child who just told her of the nightmare from the night before, would you be worried? OF COURSE!

Now, she did tell me she was going to be watching movies with the b/f so I did have it in the back of my mind that if she didn't come home, she likely fell asleep watching movies...she doesn't have much of an attention span sometimes and will fall asleep anywhere. However, I fretted all night until at 2am I couldn't take it anymore and went to bed. The very least she could have done was CALLED ME to let me know that she is in fact, alive. I had even contemplated going out looking for her car in the ditch along the way, but I'm no fool. My car was buried in snow and the road conditions no better. The hospital has me as her next of kin, and they hadn't called (see where a mother's mind goes?) and neither had the police. Of course, I didn't sleep well and waited until I couldn't stand it anymore in the morning and called her boyfriend's place. My heart leapt when one of his roomies said her car wasn't there. Then I asked for more information and found out she went to work that morning...ok then, still alive.

I think I would have rather that she didn't tell me her story from Friday night.

I don't think that parenting ends until either you or they expire. Oh me nerves...I am turning into my mother...

no I'm not...I am just worrying about my only child.

New Bitch In Town

Irelyn arrived safely last night. Against her owner's wishes, the airline saw fit to feed and water her in her cage, so she was full of food and water and urine when she arrived. Dumb asses. It ws only a 3 hour flight, she would have been better off without it. She had quite a ride, including the one in the car home from the airport...it snowed last night and A. took quite a spin after being forced to the side of the road by a roadhogging transport truck coming the other way. She's ok, but the both of them got quite a fright!

We decided to segregate her kitty for the night as there was much growling and hissing and she needed some space to clean herself up, so put her in the bathroom (my only room with a door other than the storage closet) with food, water, and litter. She didn't touch any of it, but was laying in the kitty bed we put in there for her when I got up this morning.

She is still pretty upset this morning, and the pecking order is being re-established once again. I know that cats like to have some height while doing this and she wouldn't want to be cornered in the bathroom, so I coaxed the others out into kitchen with treats and put Irelyn on the stairs going up to the loft. She seemed ok with this and before long, took off upstairs and is now sitting at the railing looking downstairs at the living room, growling and hissing at her subjects below. The other cats clearly will be submitting to her for a while until she settles down. She is a former street cat rescued from the SPCA, so has the fighting skills of a ninja warrior.

So today will be spent observing and running interference if necessary while they settle things out between the four of them.

I can't fucking believe I have four cats in the house now...

Friday 13th. ooo, I am scared.

• I trashed my car on the 401 highway west of Toronto on Friday 13th 6 years ago today. I was pissed. What the hell was I doing on that stupid highway at 3pm on a Friday afternoon? Driving my stupid ex-husband to the airport. I tempted fate and lost. Or did I...my divorce was final about 3 weeks after that.


• Stormy aka Litte Bastard, came to live with us on a Friday 13th in May of last year. He is also a black cat...I tempted fate and won. Or did I. After all, he is a little bastard...evil in disguise. Nah, I love him and he is a handsome boy...


• today it snowed for the first time this fall

so I think it all evens out. Today has been a fine day, and is nearly over (an hour left and my child is still out driving in the new snow...I do not wish to tempt fate tonight...)

Via, Waiting For Her Prince To Call

She often enjoys leaning on things...today it was the phone. I think she is waiting for Garfield's long lost cousin Prince, to call. We watched the new movie last night and now she's in love with him...it's all because of the money, of course. She is so transparent. She does have that pining away look to her though...

Ok, WHY?

Why would someone try to steal a golf cart windshield? I had hoped to find the answer to this question after I read the headline "Caught in the act: Police chief steals windshield". It was only worth 80 bucks, and now he has criminal charges, a fine, and discipline in his job as police chief. And he was wearing his uniform. This one belongs in the Darwin Awards for sure...

In Response To Forwards

To All My Friends Who Have Barraged Me With Those Countless Informative Emails, Thought I Would Show My Appreciation With A Big Thanks...

• To Whoever Sent Me the One about Rat Poop in the Glue on Envelopes because I Now Have To Use A Wet Towel with Every Envelope That Needs Sealing.
• Also, I Now Have To Scrub the Top of Every Can I open For the Same Reason.
• I No Longer Have Any Savings Because I Gave It To A Sick Girl (Penny Brown) Who Is About To Die In The Hospital For The 1,387,258th Time But That Will Change Once I Receive The $15,000 That Bill Gates/Microsoft And AOL Are Sending Me For Participating In Their Special E-mail Program.
• I No Longer Worry About My Soul Because I Have 363,214 Angels Looking Out For Me, And St. Theresa's Novena Has Granted My Every Wish.
• I No Longer Eat KFC Because Their Chickens Are Actually Horrible Mutant Freaks With No Eyes Or Feathers As Soon As I Get My Free Dinner Coupons From Applebee's, I Can Eat Again.
• I No Longer Use Cancer-Causing Deodorants Even Though I Smell Like A Water Buffalo On A Hot Day.
• Thanks To You, I Have Learned That My Prayers Only Get Answered If I Forward An Email To Seven Of My Friends And Make A Wish Within Five Minutes.
• Because Of Your Concern I No Longer Drink Coca Cola Because It Can Remove Toilet Stains.
• I No Longer Can Buy Gasoline Without Taking A Man Along To Watch The Car So A Serial Killer Won't Crawl In My Back Seat When I'm Pumping Gas.
• I No Longer Drink Pepsi Or Dr. Pepper Since The People Who Make These Products Are Atheists Who Refuse To Put "Under God" On Their Cans.
• I No Longer Use Saran Wrap In The Microwave Because It Causes Cancer.
• And Thanks For Letting Me Know I Can't Boil A Cup Water In The Microwave Anymore Because It Will Blow Up In My Face..Disfiguring Me For Life.
• I No Longer Check The Coin Return On Pay Phones Because I Could Be Pricked With A Needle Infected With Aids.
• I No Longer Go To Shopping Malls Because Someone Will Drug Me With a Perfume Sample And Rob Me.
• I No Longer Receive Packages From UPS Or Fedex Since They Are Actually Al Qaeda In Disguise.
• I No Longer Shop At Target Since They Are French And Don't Support Our American Troops Or The Salvation Army.
• I No Longer Answer the Phone Because Someone Will Ask Me To Dial A Number For Which I Will Get A Phone Bill Totaling $2,374.76 With Calls To Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, And Uzbekistan.
• I No Longer Have Any Sneakers -- But That Will Change Once I Receive My Free Replacement Pair From Nike.
• I No Longer Buy Expensive Cookies From Neiman Marcus Since I Now Have Their Recipe.
• And Thanks To Your Great Advice, I Can't Ever Pick Up $5.00 Dropped In The Parking Lot Because It Probably Was Placed There By A Sex Molester Waiting Underneath My Car To Grab My Leg.
• Oh, And Don't Forget This One Either! I Can No Longer Drive My Car Because I Can't Buy Gas From Certain Gas Companies!
• Thanks To You, I Can't Use Anyone's Toilet But Mine Because A Big Brown African Spider Is Lurking Under The Seat To Cause Me Instant Death When It Bites My Ass.
• And Remember, If You Don't Send This E-mail To At Least 144,000 People In The Next 7 Minutes, A Large Dove With Diarrhea Will Land On Your Head At 5:00 PM This Afternoon And The Fleas From 12 Camels Will Infest Your Back, Causing You To Grow A Hairy Hump. I Know This Will Occur Because It Actually Happened To A Friend Of My Next Door Neighbor's Ex-Mother-In-law's Second Husband's Cousin's Beautician ...
• Have A Wonderful Day.... One Last Bit Of Noteworthy News: A South American Scientist From Argentina, After A Lengthy Study, Has Discovered That People With Insufficient Brain And Sexual Activity Read Their E-mail With Their Hand On The Mouse. Don't Bother Taking It Off Now, It's Too Late

Half In The Bag Again

There he is, McGee, half in the bag again...

Fate And Its Chosen Path

I've typically been a believer in fate, for the most part. I think about my life and the opportunities that have presented themselves, and my choices thereafter and how my path in life has altered due to my choices, or perhaps to the choices made available to me. Hmmm. And now I'm thinking about the next step in my life, and wondering why the job hunt has become so difficult, when perhaps it is just fate stepping in to try and direct me to doing something different and I'm too stubborn to realize it. It shouldn't be this difficult to get a job to work out, so I have to wonder, don't I?

I applied recently for a job in the NWT, the interview went well, they told me they wanted 3 references, and then I never heard a thing afterwards. So fine, I began to resign myself to the fact that I didn't get it. Then I heard from one of the interviewers (who doesn't have the power to hire or does reference checking) and she basically assured me that I was likely going to be offered the job, it was simply a matter of checking references, and she wanted to let me know that they were still working on things. So not a definite answer, but encouraging at least. Then another week went by without hearing anything and only one of my references had been called. So I didn't know what to think. Then I got a call today from their HR asking for references, and she sounded surprised that I had already provided them, but yet didn't want those repeated to her. Weird. One of them was the most key reference I could provide. I've only been a social worker for just over 4years and that reference supervised me for over 3 of those years...so now I have to come up with another reference (I am not sure why, and the gal couldn't give me a straight answer) and the only one I can think of that is somewhat related to my career is my practicum supervisor back at ROOF. Sheesh...that's digging back more than 4 years. So I called and left her a message.

What does all this mean? Should I give up the job hunt for now in lieu of a real break, returning to the rock for the winter and trying my hand at writing again? Is fate stepping in and making the whole process difficult in an attempt to direct me elsewhere? I sure have to wonder...so off I shall muse...

Uh-Oh, Caramels

Yeah, it's that time of year again...candy, candy, candy for all your needs. And I bought caramels. I think they are my next favorite sweet after chocolate...pure orgasmic sweetness.

not sure where I'll be when the little mites are trick or treating this year...so I guess I'll have to eat them all myself...

Virus Attack

Got an msn message from one of my ex-SIL's...and it was a virus...I ended up with 21 when the attack was at its height. took me all damned night to work on it and I still don't know for sure if its cleared. I wonder how many other she has infected unknowingly. I have her blocked now. It was partly my own fault, I clicked on a link in a message from her...I should have been suspicious and I know better, but I never hear from this person, and so when I got a message, I was curious. That'll teach me, lol...

viruses suck.

change is in the wind

In light of the launch of a new adventure, I have chosen to switch to blogger beta and hope for less problems than the current version I'm using. Who the hell knows what it will be like, but in the meantime, feel free to provide feedback on the changes in the design. I'm no blog designer, but I can manage to switch some colors around with blogger's beta version easy enough. so expect to see changes over the coming while as I tweak things.

Coincidence??? Or film inspiration...

Well, it has been an interesting evening...my daughter was to come out and pick me up and we were driving to a friend/co-worker's place to check out the housesitting situation she was taking on for the long weekend. My friend and his wife are caretakers of a former religious centre, so there is a huge hall, circular meeting room, sleeping quarters and an attached residence. While I was waiting for A. to pick me up on the way, I was flipping through the channels and came across Jack caretaking the resort hotel in The Shining and didn't think much of it until she arrived and we got out to the centre and had a chuckle there with my friend about how his situation reminded me of the movie....and then we're in the furnace room during the grand tour and A. comments on the huge size of the furnace, that it was big enough to stuff a body in...which was also a chuckle moment. I had suggested to A. on the drive out that she make her own horror movie in such a cool location, heh heh....so anyhow, movie coincidence #1, laughed it off.

After the tour we were sitting around chatting about the quad he has access to on the property and how he has been out reconnoitering, and thinks he came upon a local grow op on one of his drives (who the hell knows how far away he was, so knowing where the centre is won't help much if you're looking for the grow op, lol). And we got a chuckle over that so I suggested he should stay away from it, and asked him if he had seen the movie The Beach and we all had a guffaw over that as well. Then I got home and I'm surfing the dish for something to watch and of course...The Beach was on...

weird...

Incidentally, the first time I ever saw The Beach was on a rainy stormy day while backpacking through Ireland. I was in Cork, it was a Sunday, and most places of interest were shut down, and I had been travelling for about a 2 weeks by that point, so was ready to take a day off and chill at the hostel. I wasn't the only one with this idea, so we sat about in the front parlour of this grubby little hostel, and watched a bunch of movies in the dusky afternoon, swapping stories and commentaries. There was about 5 of us and we were all from different countries, but luckily could all speak English, and so enjoyed the movies. The reason I remember The Beach was I recall how interesting it was to be sitting among a group of fellow backpackers, watching a movie about a group of fellow backpackers.

Cats For Sale - CHEAP.

Had another lovely night of interrupted sleep due to the feline population in my home. It all began with the ever nocturnal McGee, who began knocking things off the counters and tables to push around the floor with a clatter. Ok, got up, moved stuff, put stuff away, back to bed I went. Then he is up on the railings of the loft, and thinking about jumping across the stairwell from one rail to the other, right into Sideshow Bob (the boston fern). Get up, discourage, back to bed. The others are comfortably snuggled in with me on the bed, and I hope for sleep. Not happening. McGee then jumps onto my bed and incites the little bastard who willingly takes off across the bed with him. Get up, roar at both, and get back into bed. Then the fun begins...up and down the stairs they run, up and down off the railings, in and out of Sideshow Bob, like a three-ring circus. Via is still with me, but getting more nosey and decides to supervise the whole affair. Then the carpet clawing begins (McGee again as the others use the scratching posts on their condo religiously) and I have to get up to scold once again, and go back to bed. Then the little bastard (Stormy) is in the Boston fern again. Get up, pull him out of there, go back to bed. It all began to blur together at about 4am...a viscious cycle. They were still at it by 7am, and interrupted a really good dream about that time..now I'll never know if Matthew McConaughey was going to take me to Mexico with him...

I finally dragged my sorry ass out of bed at 9:30am, exhausted...damn cats. McGee may find himself evicted sooner rather than later, the little shit. A. is moving out soon, and taking him with her. She is coming by tomorrow, so I might just have his bags packed...

McGee had the nerve to look surprised when I took his photo, while Stormy just looked irritatingly charming, and Via, well, that little bitch went back to bed, so I promptly woke her up...photos to follow when blogger is working once again..

Taking The High Road

I think I would seriously pass out trying to drive this road in Bolivia...and I know someone who has actually bicycled this road when they were travelling in Bolivia for 6 months...yikes!

East Coast Yoga

This is the difference between East Indian Yoga and East Coast Yoga...
The guy still sitting at the table closely resembles my ex-husband. I swear I even have a photo of him in that very position...

Shitrats Raise The Roof

Yes, those damn cats were at it again last night...I've had three sleepless nights this weekend and they are responsible for some of that. Root, root, root, rustle, rustle, rustle...they jump up and down off the bed, run up and down the stairs, push their food bowls across the floor, and generally just thump and bang their way through the night. I did put my ear plugs in a one point, but for some reason I took them out in my sleep and put them back...only to be woken by them yet again. It is mostly McGee, as Via spends most of the night curled up in my arms *huge sookie baby* and Stormy is often at the end of my bed, but if McGee gets going, he joins in.

Whatever the case, I think I shall be medicating and plugging tonight, as I am now short on sleep...sigh...damn shitrats...I love 'em.

The Stuttering Kitty

sent to me this morning by my mother...

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary", said the teacher.

"It sure was",said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say "Fuck off," the rottweiler ate him!"

Aging. Let it be...

I think I got my first grey hair when I was in my mid twenties. I know my daughter was about 5 or 6 because I was in Halifax with my sister, and found it one day when we were driving through the city. I think I screamed. But then I didn't panic because for many years I had just one or two at a time...and I plucked them out. Now in the past year I have begun to resemble a skunk with my white patch down my part...sheesh...and those damn hairs are like wire...

So as many of my friends know, I have dyed my hair for years, in a variety of colors - purple, pink, blue, red, brown, streaked, black, whatever...so I have been able to basically ignore the gray hairs for a while as well...and now I have been allowing my hair to grow and have not colored it since I moved here. Hmmm...so the gray has taken advantage of that...

I did buy a box of hair dye, just simple brown, much like my natural haircolor. That was about 2 months or more ago. Why do I hesitate? Some say their grey hairs are hard earned...other's say they are a sign of high stress in your life...sometimes I think you are just going to go grey, whatever. In any event, I am still trying to decide if I am going to use that hair dye or let things be as they may...or in the words of Paul McCartney "Let it be"...

The Bear Scare Howl

So I pulled into my driveway tonight and noticed A. cleaning out her car (what a pack rat) so parked the car with a short gravel skid, just to get attention. She didn't budge, so I figured she had her music on. She also didn't see me because her head was down behind the front seat, vacuuming. I couldn't pass up that opportunity.

I crept up behind her and thumped my arm on her back with a low growl...

She let out the Bear Scare Howl.....leapt upright with her head still in her car, smucking it off the roof inside and screamed, stumbled, and screamed again.....

And I laughed my ass off...one of those howling laughs...you know the sort, the kind you've been aching for since the last time something really funny happened. And I needed it more today than ever. Monday really is over.

Another Monday Nearly Crushed

Boomtown Rats weren't the only ones who didn't like Mondays...I am a member of that club. For whatever reason, it makes me feel like I am 3 hours premenstrual...which means my hormones are all over the place. And I feel like a raving lunatic sometimes...but aren't women allotted that occasional lapse in sanity, after having to go through that joyful adventure once a month...not to mention the whole childbirth ordeal. ugh.

And speaking of children...spending the day in a car with two of these sneezing darlings (belonging to my friend R.) has somehow provided me with a lovely case of the common cold. Ahhhhchoooo...

They are also days for small annoyances...like the dumb fuck in a truck ahead of me this morning insisted on driving 60kms in the 90km Alaska Highway. I only have enough time to get through the drivethru at Tim Horton's before getting to work before getting to work. This morning I was nearly late for work, and I didn't even go to Timmy's.

Then there was the always nerve wracking job interview. Pure punishment. I can never come across how I want by a phone interview...I need non-verbal cues! I think I did okay in the written part, even if it was so much like writing a university exam...I already graduated and have my degrees, so I don't understand why I have to prove that again. The interview questions were fair enough, but I think I bumbled through a couple of them. It was hard to concentrate after the hormonal episode earlier today, and the pressure of GETTING A JOB rattled me a little.

Sigh...and life goes on. One of my favorite episodes of Friends is on tonight - where Adam Goldberg is guest starring as Chandler's crazy roommate. So today doesn't totally suck...

Rolling Stone Magazine SUCKS ASS

I have heard mention of Rolling Stone Magazine for years, and had never really read an issue, but when a fresh faced student showed up at my door looking to sell me a magazine subscription, I chose Rolling Stone amongst the other crap. I wish now that I had chosen something like National Geographic instead of the drivel I receive in my mailbox once a month...

I have never seen such a compilation of garbage discussing the war efforts by the US. I thought Rolling Stone was about music? WTF??? So I managed at first to skip over about a third of the magazine because the writers drivelled on about the wars the US are involved in. I hear enough on television to make me sick, I don't need it in my recreational magazines.

The topper though was in this month's issue. I turned the page to this heading for an ad "Did you know that over 300,000 baby seals were killed in Canada this year for their fur?" and it was sponsored by The Humane Soceity of The United States. What a load of utter bullshit. I am so fuckiing sick and tired of this anti-Canadian sentiment out there, particularly when they are so damned misinformed and clearly STUPID. The photograph in the ad depicts sealers clubbing seals...ADULT SEALS. And how can I tell? Because the baby seals they refer to are WHITE and the ones in the photo are clearly NOT WHITE. As well, whitecoat seals have been outlawed to kill for nearly 20 years. Considering that the 2006 Quota for sealers was 325,000 and that all reports state that the seals hunted in Canada has been found to be 98% humane AND legal kills...where in the hell do they get their information from?

The ad also called for a complete boycott of Canadian seafood. What in the hell is the sense in that? How is boycotting the lobster, codfish and crab caught by non-sealers going to help anything? Complete idiocy, I say. Also, what they seem to not understand is that Canadian Sealers harvest seals for ALL of their body parts, not just the fur...including seal penises that are sold to an Asian market as an aphrodesiac...and what these so-called do-gooders seem to forget is all the AMERICAN hunters that flock to Canada to bag a big game animal, simply for the trophy head, leaving the rest of the animal to rot in the woods. Now THAT is irresponsible.

I never got the argument about inhumane killing either. I don't buy how these so-called informed activists can claim that seal hunting is inhumane while they chow down on a beef steak. Visit a meat factory and tell me how what they do to cows is any different? I have ACTUALLY been to one, having worked there for 3 months and had a full tour. The cows are simply knocked out with a steel pin shot at their head, and then rolled down the ramp to be hung by their legs while THEY are skinned. Or on the topic of seafood, let's talk about how that is killed...codfish - often by a jesus big hook in the mouth that rips out their insides, and then they have their head beaten and throat slit to keep them from thrashing once aboard the boat. Or how about shellfish - BOILED ALIVE. Hello? Anyone there? But because someone takes a look at those big seal eyes and thinks they look cute, that they have the right to protest how someone makes a living. Pardon the codfish for not looking cute...

I think I shall go put on my seal pelt mukluks, and tell the Americans who wish to boycott Canadian seafood to fuck - right - off. I am boycotting Rolling Stone Magazine.

And if you are looking for more accurate information regarding the Canadian seal hunt, check out this site.

This Is Just Plain Funny

And makes me a little homesick...check out Youtube...

Where Were You On 9/11

I had to ask it. I usually don't like to hear about it, or talk about it. But it is one of those things, like where were you when Reagan was shot, or when you heard John Lennon died...it's something you remember.

I was at university, during my first class of the BSW program I was beginning, and our professor was from New York City. I had stopped by the lounge just before class as the first plane had flown into the world trade centre. I thought what everyone else did, that it was an accident...then I stopped by the lounge not long after again and saw the second one hit. I don't know what drew me to the lounge, there was always someone in it, typically watching terrible soap operas like Passions, or Seventh Heaven...sheesh...but that day, they had the news on and I was hooked. I could bearly tear myself away from the class, but I did once again to go back to the lounge, and was there when the first and second towers fell, sitting beside our practicum coordinator/professor. Stunned is what we were.

Hard to believe it has been 5 years...

Fun In Yahoo Games

So I was on Yahoo Games today to play a few hands of gin while the laundry was going...I typically play in a social room, hoping to catch some interesting chat, and occasionally I do make an online friend that I play with regularly. Today was not that day. I don't understand why people choose a social room to play in and then won't even respond to a simple hello. Rude, that's what it is. No, I take that back, rude was the next asshole I played with. His opening comment was "Are we having a sober day?"...I knew we were headed downhill from there...

This psychopath/chosen one began telling me that it is important to be sober, which I can understand, no biggie, particularly for recovering alcoholics...I can sympathize...but I was interested in where he was coming from - recovering user or bible thumper or both. So then he tells me that not being sober nearly killed him earlier this year. So I figure, ok, he's been in a car crash, drunk driving likely, because he said no one had ever survived an accident like his before. Wanting to play devil's advocate, as it seemed clear he was out to make a statement about something or fishing for sympathy, not simply chat and play cards, particularly by opening with such a bold statement. So then I asked him whose information that was (that he is the only one to ever survive an accident like that - it just sounded like such an american self-centred thing to say. Maybe he is just grateful to be alive and wants to spread the word...who knows...

then it got fucked up...he said he wasn't basing it on anyone's information...so I prodded again - then how can you make such a blanket statement. So then he says it was meant to happen to him, he is the chosen one...WTF? So I simply said, ok man, you are starting to weird me out and sound like a fanatic. To which he replied "who gives a fuck". Then I knew...TROLL. so I told him to leave my room and he refused, and told me to leave. I wanted to boot him out, but it was a rated game and the program wouldn't let me...dammit...I could have stayed in and really razzed him up, but I spend enough of my time confronting angry people that I just didn't want to get into it with him when he was clearly looking for a fight. So I left...fuck him. Maybe that's his game...get into a game, piss someone off so they leave and forfeit the game...

So I am off to Pogo...they are usually more social there...

Dear Kotex

I've seen this one before, but it made me laugh yet again today, so I thought I would share...

Dear Kotex

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

1. Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
2. Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
3. Drink 6-8 glasses of wa ter a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
4. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead. See what happens and report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I guaran-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. This advice was some brain function of a male....right???

Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activity that interests me is eating...and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a friggin activity?????

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes of survival, many containing alcohol. Printing out shit advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand. Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products.

It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the shit in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer. There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just add a store microphone to the damn package & announce that...helloooo, another female is on her damn period!!!!!So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces that need to be smacked hard, and shove them right up your ass.

Ovarily Yours,

Miss PMS

Labourous Rambling

So how does one celebrate Labour Day, anyhow? By doing as little labour as possible? or by some of the things I have done today...

• singing to the cats (I know where my talents are appreciated)
• dozing on the new sofa with some fav's on the stereo - Allman Brothers, Nazareth, Jethro Tull, ELP, Pink Floyd (of course) and so many more talented musicians
• playing with the felines - it's amazing how much fun a piece of yarn can be. I fail to see it...
• comforting the cowardly cats when the water delivery truck filled the tank
• losing at Gin Rummy online at Yahoo Games
• sewing up an afghan I am making for a little one - wait, that is labour...
• chatted online to some friends

Yup, life is rough here in the Yukon...McGee is clearly enjoying his new quarters...Stormy is snuggled deep on the new sofa, while Via grooms in the faint sunlight...

Crocodile Hunter Dies By Stingray

I wasn't a huge fan of the show, but one of my old roomies, M. from Russia was a huge fan, and thought he was amazing, as did many others. And now he has been killed instantly by the barb of a stingray, right to the heart. Somehow I always thought he would die by croc...but I can imagine he is glad he died by stingray instead...news reports say he died instantly, whereas if a croc got hold of him, it might last a bit.

I have watched the show, "Crocodile Hunter" over the years and once I got past his bawdy Aussie accent, it was entertaining enough. Australia has lost one of its icons, for sure, from a man who definitely lived on the edge.

You Deserve To Be Scammed

After reading this article on CBC news, I have to say, the people that were scammed deserved it. If you are that stupid to fall for such an obvious scam, I'm sorry...you have idiot written all over your face. A convoluted story about someone telling you to add chemicals to some money to make it turn green again...WTF? Stupidity reigns in Mississauga apparently...

Fall Has Fallen

The leaves are changing, there is snow on the mountains. Fall has arrived. And it is only September 1st. Brrrrrrrrrrr....

Long weekend ahead, which is just grand...wishing A. didn't have to work though so we could go somewhere, camping or day trip but it is not to be! We are going on a short road trip though out to Lake Labarge area, and hope to get some photos of the fall colors that the bear berry bushes and fireweed provide in the absence of maple and oak trees.

Other than that, I reckon I shall attempt to complete some household projects this weekend, and with the tv broken, that will be one less distraction.

Now I have to go get ready for work...thankfully today is Friday!

15 Years Gone

As I drove into the city today, I passed many fresh faced children on their first day of school...this was my youngster on her first day, 15 years ago. Yes, I cried buckets when I left the school...sob...

Black Sabbath Saves The Day

As I was getting ready for my trip to town today, I went rooting for a bandanna...anyone who knows me, knows that I have tons of them in all colors and styles. My oldest one is a plain black one with Black Sabbath printed all over it in white. It is also one of my favorites but I don't wear it to work, so look forward to sporting it outside of work...only I couldn't find it at the time, so put on a different one. This happened to be a wise decision as I found myself at the cardboard boat race that I soon found out was organized by the Latter Day Saints...it was all Elder this, and Elder that...I stood out enough as it is, since everyone else seemed to know one another, but sporting a bandanna screaming Black Sabbath would have certainly been a topic of conversation among these folks...

Then I found myself in town tonight at the going away part of an gay fellow. He used to be support staff at the agency I work at and is moving to New Brunswick. I had heard there would be Karaoke, but thought it was only for the first part of the night...um...no. I'm not a fan of karoke in the best of times, but knowing I was driving home and limiting myself to 2 beers for the night, I was not near drunk enough (at all actually on the one beer I drank) to sit through queen after queen crooning out the oldies...although someone did pull off a great rendition of an Elton John song that I quite enjoyed, along with "It's Raining Men" in falsetto...it was actually the girls that got up and crashed their way through a song that finally drove me out.

So I was on my way home, and those who know me, know I am a little heavy on the pedal...and there was all this open road in front of me, not a camper in sight...but Black Sabbath came on the stereo, War Pigs - and knowing it was a long one and wanting to be driving for the entire song, I slowed to just around the speed limit. And in a spot where I usually am not behaving, the only other car on the road was the RCMP, going in the other direction. Black Sabbath likely saved me from a very costly ticket...thanks guys...

It was interesting to finally drive my car in the night for the first time and see how the dash lights up. With daylight most all night, I hadn't had the opportunity, but the days are quickly getting shorty and it is now dark and stars are out for several hours. The dash lights are groovy, with the entire stereo lighting up where it needs to be, such as a little bar of light on either side of the cd slot to guide you in, the eject is lit up, and there is even a ring of light around the cigarette lighter...not that I use it, but I do use the outlet.

now for some more Black Sabbath...

Fridays Aren't Supposed To Suck

I normally love Fridays. They are the end of the work week, and the whole weekend stretches out before you, with the knowledge that Monday is still three days away, still out of sight.

Then I got out of bed.

I hung up on a client today, because he picked a fight with me, and I wasn't willing to give him the audience he was looking for with his rant. It had been documented enough already by 2 other provinces...anyhow...I never enjoy it when I am forced to get heavy with a client, so that set the mood for the day.

I had to call two call centres today, which is NEVER fun. Royal Bank was one of them, and those fucking voice activated menus drove me to the brink, so more expletives...too bad they don't recognize those...instead they mock you with "I'm sorry I didn't understand you, could you please repeat again"...arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh! Dell was the other and surprisingly it went well. Real shocker. So my mood lifted again.

Then I got an letter back from an agency I applied for a job with stating that they do not currently have any openings. Dammit.

So I left work for an eye appointment. I wasn't going to take my car and walk instead, but someone came into my office and talked too long about a case, so I was late to leave and had to drive to the appointment, and pay for parking...the closest zone was only 1 hour with meter, so I filled the meter and then hurried into my appointment, where I was just barely on time at 3:30pm. They were dilating today, so I had to be on time, as it takes a while and I asked for the latest appt they could give. I paid for my appointment at 4:30pm. My parking ticket was printed at 4:32pm. I didn't know this when I first glanced at it and cursed a blue streak yet again today at that parking bastard who haunts me downtown, searching out my car. When I noticed the time on it later, I am sure he was in hearing distance from me, likely only a car or two over...GOOD. I hope he heard me today. Parking is outrageous in places. There is tons of spots, so everyone can easily find one, but you have to pay for them all and they are mostly time limited, meaning you have to watch the time instead of focus on why you are downtown. Like my eye appointment. I thought about going out to feed the meter, but I was having my damned eyes dilated, and was a little incapacitated at the time. Fucker. At least it was for just $10, instead of the damn $25 one from last week...

Driving home was interesting...definitely couldn't stare into any headlights or I was in danger of tripping out...I could still read signs easy enough and had no problem seeing enough to drive...although many would recommend waiting before driving I reckon. Anyhow, got stuck behind a huge truck today, one of those WIDE LOAD ones that creeps along at least 20kms under the speed limit...sigh...at least it wasn't a camper. They seem to be thinning out as the cold creeps in.

It was good to finally get home and be alone with the felines. Let the GOOD part of Friday begin...